heauxs.jpeg

Hi.

Our thumbs are basically numb from texting back and forth 24/7 about everything we love (AND HATE) that's happening on our televisions, iPads, and eye glasses (hi, we think we're funny) and we thought WHY NOT SHARE THIS JOY WITH THE WORLD?!  

WORKING THROUGH MY DADDY ISSUES WITH ROB LOWE

WORKING THROUGH MY DADDY ISSUES WITH ROB LOWE

In case you’ve been living under a rock or have decided to keep up with politics instead of television, Rob Lowe has a paranormal reality TV show called The Lowe Files on A&E. If you haven’t seen the trailer, you’re missing out on a great soundtrack.

The trailer has been compared to the CW TV show Supernatural (currently on its millionth season) due to the obvious overlaps between the two. Both shows have a father and his two sons on the search for ‘things that go bump in the night’ (and Bigfoot). The only difference, of course, is that Lowe’s sons aren’t struggling with the avalanche of daddy issues that Supernatural’s Dean and Sam Winchester grapple against. In fact, The Lowe Files is a show about a family bonding over their paranormal love (celebrities, they’re just like us). Sorry, Winchester boys, looks like you were born into the wrong paranormal family.

If you watch this show, you too will discover that Rob Lowe is the father we’ve all always wanted. Whether your pop was supportive about your career in English, or whether your pop dipped out on you while you were learning to ride a tricycle, lollipop in hand like the bad bitch that you one day hoped to become, you’ll soon realize that you want to buy Rob Lowe a ‘World’s Best Dad’ mug for Father’s Day instead of your old man. If you’ve got daddy issues like me, then you’ll probably want to simultaneously eat raw Frosted Flakes directly from the box while you watch. 

So grab your preferred choice of cereal and hit play again on that trailer because we’re going to go through this rollercoaster of daddy issues together and we’ll be tallying up how many ‘World’s Best Dad’ mugs Rob Lowe wins in the end:

 

1. “Since I was a little boy, I’ve loved spooky legends and scary mysteries.”

rob lowe1.png

US, TOO, ROB, US TOO!
World’s Best Dad Mug goes to: Rob Lowe


2. “And when I had boys of my own, we bonded over those campfire stories… and debated whether Bigfoot was real.”

rob lowe2.png

Whenever we try to debate whether Bigfoot is real or not with our families, they just change the topic to how millennials are ruining the housing market with their Bigfoot questions. Also is it normal for a dad to look that good? Maybe it’s a good thing we weren’t born into this family.
World’s Best Dad Mug goes to: Our collective fathers (We prefer our dads to be balding and not ridiculously attractive)

3. “We swore that one day, we would find those answers together. That day has come!”

rob lowe3.png

Rob kept his promise of hunting down paranormal activity with his boys! Whatever promises our dads made to us simply don’t compare. Gee, thanks for paying for college, dad. Do you know what Rob Lowe did for his kids? Got them their own TV show!
World’s Best Dad Mug goes to: Rob Lowe

4. Is that Don’t Fear the Reaper by Blue Oyster Cult?

Rob isn’t trying to be hip with the times. He’s sticking to his music taste, and no embarrassing us by pretending he knows who the Chainsmokers are while swaying his hips back and forth in front of our friends.
World’s Best Dad Mug goes to: Rob Lowe

5. Rob laughs while he drives!

rob lowe 5.png

I’m sure he’s laughing at his own dad joke. Dad jokes only make us cringe and roll our eyes when its our own dad making them.
World’s Best Dad Mug goes to: Rob Lowe

6. Look at all the campfires in this trailer!

rob lowe6.png

We can’t even remember to put on bug repellent when we go to a cookout. If Rob Lowe was our dad, he’d take it to the next step and teach us how to burn things like the Mad King. The only thing our actual dads taught us was that they would say yes to things whenever our moms would say no.
World’s Best Dad Mug goes to: Rob Lowe

7. Is that a pickup truck?

Of course, Rob would drive a pickup truck. A pickup truck is the highest ranking vehicle for dads. Our dads drove old sedans. There’s nothing exciting about those. While Rob is driving on rough terrain with no cares in his pickup truck, we’re listening to our dads complain about the no-good-for-nothing transmission in that old sedan.
World’s Best Dad Mug goes to: Rob Lowe

8. This looks like aflawless holiday photo card.

rob lowe 8.png

This is certainly missing something, though. US. It’s missing us. Squeeze us in, and we can finally have a flawless holiday card without our dads trying to figure out how to use that good-for-nothing photo timer.
World’s Best Dad Mug goes to: Rob Lowe

Phew! That was a lot of work. So, who exactly won the most ‘World’s Best Dad’ mugs?

Our dads: 1

Rob Lowe: 7

That’s it. Can Rob Lowe just adopt us already? We wouldn’t cause too much trouble. We can buckle up and sit quietly in the back seat of his pickup truck. We’d laugh at his corny dad jokes. We’d rock out when Don’t Fear the Reaper plays. We’d pull our weight in tracking down Bigfoot. Sure, getting adopted by Rob Lowe at our age is far fetched, but at least we’ll have The Lowe Files. We can tag along on his paranormal adventures this way while discovering what it would be like to have Rob as our dad. We’ll have to stock up on that Frosted Flakes, though.

TRIGGER WARNING (AMERICAN HORROR STORY RECAP)

TRIGGER WARNING (AMERICAN HORROR STORY RECAP)

95% TWIN-LESS (PROJECT RUNWAY RECAP)

95% TWIN-LESS (PROJECT RUNWAY RECAP)