HOW DO YOU SOLVE A PROBLEM LIKE NINA? (RPDR RECAP)
We return to the werkroom after Valentina’s shocking elimination. Nina’s depressed because she knows, just like everyone else, if Valentina hadn’t fucked that lip sync up royally, Nina’d be on her way back to the ATL. What’s with the lip syncs this season, you guys? Like lip syncs have always been an integral part of the show—where are my death drops and wig reveals?? I’m still covering my face with my hair after that whole I’d rather keep my mask on moment, GAH.
The queens try to give Nina a pep talk and Nina is not having it. The queens are over it and my hunch is so is the viewing audience. Depression is a real bitch, man. I’ve got empathy for Nina because she is clearly GOING THROUGH IT but poor thing’s negativity is really ruining the fun for everyone. It reminds me of my marriage. You think you’re getting this:
But really you’re getting a whole lot of this:
and I guess everyone just has a threshold for how long they’re gonna deal with that.
Oy! Ru arrives in a fabulous pink flora / fauna suit and a massive Star of David chain and wishes everyone mazel tov on the next challenge: MAKING OVER THE CREW. The queens are THRILLED and so am I. I LOVE SEEING BEHIND THE CURTAIN. And how much do we love Director Duncan already? “When Ru’s not here, this is my house.” LOL, DUNCAN I don’t even care how many times you practiced that, you’re adorable.
The makeover challenge is a long standing RPDR tradition but this one feels different. Since the queens already know these guys, there’s like, what is it--JOY???--in the room! And this, my friends, is what we love about the show, the camp and the joy and people having fun and throwing hilarious shade. It feels like our best friend is back! We’re just hanging out in the werkroom watching Bae Coulee have the most hideous runway walk in all the land and waiting for a straight guy to fall off his heels and it’s thrilling.
Also, I LOVE THE BOB / KATYA BAYWATCH COMMERCIALS. I would watch these two do anything. ANYTHING.
“You gotta pull it back, or Imma pull it back for you.” And right there I just softened my heart to Trinity. I love her all business approach to making over Rizzo, who’s facial expressions are hilarious. His face like registers every split second thought that crosses his mind. He’s my sweet little dummy. Why did I ever think I couldn't make it in LA?
Back to Nina. She’s going to sew two whole outfits even though she doesn’t know how to sew. She asks everybody for help and they give it but even Ariana Nina Bonina Brown is like, uh, this is a bad idea. Nina says her drag is her face, which I get, but it’s still a big problem if you want to be named the winner of a drag show that’s on its 9th season (plus two all-star seasons). Like you’ve got to think of the whole package girl. Kim Chi gives good face. AND AMAZING LEWK.
Is anyone else dying over Trinity’s green Teva sandals?
IT'S TIME FOR THE RUNWAY / TEAM LIP SYNC
Trinity Taylor & Gittafa Dayz
They’re serving Orlando trash and I’m here for it! Rizzo has like a broken down vogue-model walk, all boney angles and it’s working for him. Trinity sewed the shit out of those outfits and tucked that cock and really showed off her drag skillz. They’ve got the best choreography and overall package.
Shea Coulee & Bae Coulee
I don’t know enough about wigs to have any idea what happened here except that it was a diz-ass-tah. I also don’t really understand this runway lewk? Is this what Shea imagines a mix of Naomi Campbell and Natalie Portman looks like? Gowns and muffs? Also, Bae Coulee serves exactly zero personality on the runway. During the lip sync Bae just can’t help dancing like a dude.
Alexis Michelle & Rye Anne Stardust
Intergalactic realness. It’s ok. Alexis gets the “we’re so close to the end it’s time to dig in” speech. I mean, she’s gone next week.
Nina Bonina Brown & Ariana Bonina Brown
This whole thing is crazy. No one cares about a corset and tall boots anymore. The make up, I don’t even know what to say about it because the whole time you’re like squinty-eyed trying to make out what the hells is going on. Is that yellow paper hair? Ross is like, where the hell is the cottontail? And I’m like right??? I mean, if Bridget Jones is serving it better…
Sasha Velour & Dunatella Velour
Two little mod queens with bucket hats and signage. Adorable. These two smarty pants are a great match. And let’s just say, it’s lucky to have the AD as your partner, if anybody understands the aesthetic of the show and what works, it’s the AD.
Peppermint & Wintergreen
Snaps for the name, I guffawed. But what are these outfits? They don’t really match at all? I mean the cut sort of but the family resemblance is scarce. Lucky for Peppy, Wintergreen is serving all of it on that runway. She looks like someone’s mother. Like she’s like your new mother-in-law. Like I wouldn’t be surprised if Wintergreen was related to Michelle Visage. Wintergreen’s exchange with Kesha is hilarious, like give Sarge his own show. At least let him join the Pit Crew.
Ariana Bonina Brown seems really hurt when Nina is up for elimination. His face falls with the disappointment of seeing someone you love failing when you know they could do better if they just got a better attitude. It’s even sadder because he’s still wearing that bunny crayon makeup. Nina thinks maybe she should just do a Charlie Hides lip sync and just stand there. And she really seems to do that at the beginning. Shea immediately starts serving Demi-realness and I got chills when she STOMPED THE RUNWAY. Her lip sync is fierce and it’s bye bye Nina Bonina Brown Andre Charles, and I really hope she went straight to therapy because dude, if she was depressed before, watching herself on TV is really going to be a downer.