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Hi.

Our thumbs are basically numb from texting back and forth 24/7 about everything we love (AND HATE) that's happening on our televisions, iPads, and eye glasses (hi, we think we're funny) and we thought WHY NOT SHARE THIS JOY WITH THE WORLD?!  

POSH HOLLYWOOD MIGHT BE A SCAMMER BUT I LOVE HER

POSH HOLLYWOOD MIGHT BE A SCAMMER BUT I LOVE HER

Let me do like Wendy Williams and cover my legal bases straight off the top. Allegedly! Allegedly!! ALLEGEDLY!!! This article is for entertainment purposes only. I don't know any of these people from Adam nor Eve. I don’t know or care whether anyone is actually securing the bag or scammin’ since scam-scamming. I'm just here for the YouTube drama. Everything is said with love. Allegedly!

A few months ago I was on YouTube looking to mind other people’s business when I stumbled across Ms. Posh Hollywood. I first watched the “I quit YouTube” video. The platform was in peak demonetization, and these YouTubers were posting clickbait videos where they threatened to quit. Ain’t none of them was going to quit YouTube when there people like me still trying to get these AdSense coins. Okay! There are lots of ways to flip a dollar; clickbait is one of the easiest. Just stop with the fake complaining!

When I checked her channel to see if she stopped posting, she sho ‘nuff didn’t. Six days after her proposed quitation she had a new video addressing scam allegations, plastic surgery, and YouTube hate. In fact, she had several new videos.

Posh declared that negativity wasn’t going to stop her shine and would now be a full-time YouTuber. She knew this was viable after only 13 videos. Dread, I'm out here with 81 videos and I barely have two AdSense cents to rub together. Lord, grant me the confidence of Ms. Posh Hollywood a.k.a Rudolph the golden-nosed reindeer to say, “F*** the haters! I’m following my dreams.”

She hadn’t yet spill any real tea. But, between the fake eyelashes, contour for the gawds (eh, some might say the devil), luxurious locks, horse veneers, and other shiny things, I had to click one more video!

Posh promised to teach viewers “four ways to get a FAT butt and a THIN waist in less than 30 days”. Obviously, her aesthetic is plastic fantastic so I expected some Flat Tummy Tea-type advice instead of plastic surgery admission.

(Watching Posh is hilarious. I wish this was a vlog or podcast so that you could hear me laugh or see me cry. I can barely see well enough to type this trash post.)

Yo, I watched every second of that near 12-minute “workout video.” (Shameless plug: check out Fat Heauxs). Posh struggled to form a coherent sentence. Her nose highlight and contour set up made me crosseyed. Hell, she also looked cross-eyed!

Near the six-minute mark, Posh revealed that although her exercise tips ensure noticeable results in 30 days, she was impatient and chose to “build her butt over several years.”  Ma’am, what is the truth; will these moves help us get a big romp or nah? Please explain how doing squats for 30 days was cheaper and faster than illegal butt injections over several years. Hey, at least she kept it real and admitted she had no idea what's in her buttocks. *clicks tongue*

I vowed never to watch another Posh Hollywood clip. I was all for the messy, but the mentally challenged word vomit gave me vertigo.

She got under my skin. I failed to comprehend what I’d witness. Her comment section with volatile; people called in her scammer and a fake. I decide to strap myself to the Posh Hollywood morphine drip and kill a bajillion brain cells in the name of internet stalking -- I mean, research!

While searching for the video where I first saw Posh without makeup -- she's naturally beautiful, by the way -- I stumbled across this video of her getting lip injections. I knew Posh’s butt, teeth, and breasts were fake. However, this lip revelation left me unable to mock her.

She’s leveraging her online popularity to show the world her lifestyle and entrepreneurial aspirations. She claims to be confident, but all I hear is TLC’s Unpretty. The doctor's music playlist amplifies the sadness of the moment. Striving for this Instagram perfect life has us hurting ourselves or becoming a hateful troll.

When I pitched this piece, It had been almost a month since Posh’s laughably Basic B*tch-levels nighttime routine video. I was completely invested in watching the Posh reality trainwreck. I laughed at her failing read pronounce the names of her MLM beauty products. (Girl, those tubes look unsqueezed -- this is their 2nd appearance. There’s no way we caught you at the “fresh supply” phase twice).

I hollered at her ultra harsh contour lines she dared to preserve while showering. I doubled over laughing because AFTER she “washes” her face, she pops up with a full face of makeup next to the fiance, turned boyfriend, turned husband for a post-work Netflix and chill session. (Girl, I watched these videos in order. Your relationship status changes every week. Again, what is the truth?).

I get that it’s a re-enactment but the entire video is hilariously awkward. Especially when she chooses to appear on camera with a transparent nightgown and then fiends modesty as she tries to hide her nipples. (Girl, you didn't have to do all that. YouTube ain’t worth spilling all the goodies.)

Yes, I watch Posh because she makes me feel superior. Yes, I smirked at her body modifications. Yes, I giggled when she offered a prize for correctly guessing her location when the answer was in her video title! (She really doesn’t think these things through.) Aaaand yeah I’m waiting for the “I’m a prostitute confession video” so I can revel in my imaginary sexual sainthood. (BTW, ain’t nothing wrong with consensual sexual acts. Just be wise and condomize)

I do not contest that claims that nobody is buying bundles from Allure Luxe, or clothes from Consign and Cupcakes, or paid for coaching (Table For 30), or even that Block ain’t a “mogul.” All of these truths are plain to see. If you can’t tell that her products don’t have any credible review or a legit return policy page, then you deserve to get got.

HOWEVER AND THEREFORE, Instead of being mad and calling Posh “scammer” and “dumb stripper,” people need to appreciate the hustle and LET POSH ENTERTAIN US. I can’t afford cable! She is out here giving us Love and Hip-Hop levels of ign’ant entertainment without a Mona Scott budget.  

Posh is not the brightest crayon in the box, but she finds a way to leverage her influence and hustles hard. I’m inspired to put my overpriced M.F.A. to work (yes, drag them institutions), and get my #GirlBossMillionaire life.

To conclude this already lengthy conclusion. Somebody, please give my internet cousin a sale so that the scamstress can keep on scamming. I would volunteer however, the way my bank account set up … Listen, funding I got for Posh Hollywood is whatever coins YouTube AdSense gods decide she is worth. Let the ads run!

WHY IS EVERYONE SHIRTLESS & OTHER INQUIRIES (RIVERDALE RECAP)

WHY IS EVERYONE SHIRTLESS & OTHER INQUIRIES (RIVERDALE RECAP)

KESHA'S PRAYING IS THE MOST IMPORTANT SONG ON THE RADIO RIGHT NOW

KESHA'S PRAYING IS THE MOST IMPORTANT SONG ON THE RADIO RIGHT NOW