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Hi.

Our thumbs are basically numb from texting back and forth 24/7 about everything we love (AND HATE) that's happening on our televisions, iPads, and eye glasses (hi, we think we're funny) and we thought WHY NOT SHARE THIS JOY WITH THE WORLD?!  

THE ONLY GAME OF THRONES FINALE RECAP YOU NEED IS OUR TEXTS

THE ONLY GAME OF THRONES FINALE RECAP YOU NEED IS OUR TEXTS

ADRIENNE: JEREMY JEREMY JEREMY

JEREMY: lol what!???

ADRIENNE: I need you to text me through this Hahahahhaha

JEREMY: LOLOLOL

ADRIENNE: I’m serious i can’t be abandoned

JEREMY: OMG HERE WE GO! That countdown was A LOT

ADRIENNE: So much

JEREMY: SO MUCH WALKING DUDE. We got 75 minutes left

ADRIENNE: Uh that shirtless guy was weird HahHa

JEREMY: LOLOL OHMYGOD SOMEBODY TALK

ADRIENNE: I bet Tyrion is like maybe i shouldn’t have burned up Varys or I’d have someone to be like wtf oops with

JEREMY: LOLOLOL … All that fire and they couldn’t burn johns clothes off? Why am I even paying for HBO??? OMGAH OMGAH OMGAH Cersei is gonna be alive??

ADRIENNE: Unpopular opinion but greyworm sucks. I’ve thought he was creepy for ages

JEREMY: He’s hot. Otherwise he might need an iep for his severe communication issues

ADRIENNE: Hahahhaha! I don’t think he’s hot just CREEPY. Also #blessed I taught you bout IEPs HAHAHAHAHA. How long is this episode, Cause bitches taken their time

JEREMY: 80 minutes I think? Omg they’re always so slow and then the last 20 minutes will give you palpitations

ADRIENNE: That’s how my personal trainer does it

JEREMY: LOLOLOL

ADRIENNE: Lol jaime’s golden hand. Shouldn’t he be looking for the queen???

JEREMY: I’m supposed to believe this little bitch is sad? They hated him. Girl. Nah. Who gonna jump up and stab his ass he better run

ADRIENNE: She gonna be pissed when she finds him there

JEREMY: good to see Cersei’s hair is still TERRIBLE

ADRIENNE: At least Lena Heady got her cool mil for that episode for just lying there for a sec in her Justin Bieber wig

JEREMY: the lesson really is if you wear a pussy cat wig RuPaul will have you kilt

ADRIENNE: Truth. Jon’s really turning me on lately. Did Greyworm apparate up there? Like he left after Jon hahah

JEREMY: It’d be great if she Just accidentally fell down the stairs and died

ADRIENNE: HHhahhahHhahahahha I’d live for that

JEREMY: CAN WE GET HER A MIC?

ADRIENNE: HAHAHAHAHAHAH dead The Dothraki are like what did you say? Fuck it, we’ll jump around on our horses.

JEREMY: I’m ready for her to die

ADRIENNE: Uh greyworm wasn’t already the master of war? Lol He was super excited

JEREMY: Uhhhh is Tyrian about to kill her ass??

ADRIENNE: <Spongebob jumping up and down gif>
Tell me that spongebob wasn’t the perfect response

JEREMY: HAHAHAH

ADRIENNE: Hahahahaha I’m No longer hand! Hahahah. Throw that pin down, bitch!

JEREMY: Push her down the stairs!

ADRIENNE: RIGHT? I really think jon is so hot right now

JEREMY: So hot

ADRIENNE: It’s the man bun and confusion

JEREMY: The dirty face. Where’s Danny going? She destroyed everything lol

ADRIENNE: HAHAHAHAHAHAH I’m totally like, where’s everyone gonna sleep tonight? Lol

JEREMY: I can’t stop laughing

ADRIENNE: Are we going to go this whole season without seeing Jon’s ass

JEREMY: I’m afraid so. What a disappointment LOLOL This is the longest scene in all of season 8

ADRIENNE: What are these haikus?
Duty / love / shut up
Hahahaha

JEREMY: Honestly. GUYS. We’ve been watching for 20 years we get it. Hahahaha

ADRIENNE: Also like it’s a little late Tyrion

JEREMY: freal tho

ADRIENNE: Shoulda listened to my boi Varys. Are we supposed to think this is snow or ash

JEREMY: Snow I guess? I don’t get that either

ADRIENNE: Lol that stupid throne made it through

JEREMY: This is what I look like when I walk into women and children first and see the new release table

ADRIENNE: BHahahhzhas

JEREMY: IM SERVING JOKES TONIGHHHHHHHT

ADRIENNE: You are and i love it. maybe they can do it on the chair and then he can kill her

JEREMY: Jon got no time to waste. Finally somebody got a watch

ADRIENNE: This Jon is not hot, I don’t like when he’s whiny. Sniveling Jon is ick

JEREMY: I’m into it. Cry all over me bitch LOL

ADRIENNE: I wish these two had some chemistry

JEREMY: OMG
WOWWW
I didn’t know he had the balls

ADRIENNE: I definitely didn’t

JEREMY: What’s he gonna do now’
My heart is racing

ADRIENNE: Ruh roh
She sure died fast

JEREMY: She got a watch too lol

ADRIENNE: Poor dragon so sad
Hahahahaha
Jon’s the Captain now

JEREMY: The fire won’t hurt Jon he’s Targaryen

ADRIENNE: The dragons gonna be his

JEREMY: DRACARYS

ADRIENNE: I mean
Come on
HAHAHAHA
The dragon knows it’s the thrones fault

JEREMY: Dumb dragon is the only one with brains

ADRIENNE: Honestly I’m so glad we’re together right now
I couldn’t handle this alone
Well the cat’s here

JEREMY: LOLOLOL
WHAT NOW?!!!!

ADRIENNE: I mean what! Jon’s a Targaryen that should be his dragon!
I’m very anxious

JEREMY: So anxious like more than that war I couldn’t see on the tv

ADRIENNE: Have i told you my theory that she rises as the new night king
And that the old one was her dad

JEREMY: AHHHHHHHHHHHH
so Jon’s just like King now and that’s the evwrybodys cool?

ADRIENNE: Fucking Greyworm, He can s my d
And also winter is over?
Howd bran get here

JEREMY: Helicopter obvi

ADRIENNE: TYRION’S FAKE BEARD

JEREMY: Who is this man?

ADRIENNE: He’s a “senior lord in the country” and also the bad guy on outlander, it’s so distracting. He’s a river run mofo

JEREMY: YASSS SANSA YASSSSSS

oh good we got 10 minutes left might as well have some fucking comedy

ADRIENNE: Oh lord let’s be a democracy

JEREMY: Is there time for that

ADRIENNE: samwell Tarley, the Alexander Hamilton of Westeros—let’s make a musical about him!

JEREMY: Hahahahaha

ADRIENNE: I mean Tyrion’s fake beard dude

JEREMY: YEAH that beard is wack. This is a lot of time devoted to saying JON SNOW

ADRIENNE: I’ve been saying all week George RR Martin is a basic bitch and he’s been writing a Christ story all along

Godammit i hate Bran

JEREMY: Bran. Imma jump in my tv and kill that bitch right now

ADRIENNE: I vote for brienne obviously

JEREMY: Three eyed raven. LOL like we know what the fuck that is

ADRIENNE: We’ve never seen that raven do shit

SHUT UP

that’s so annoying

JEREMY: Wait. My eyes just rolled out of my head I can’t see my phone to type

ADRIENNE: Why’d you think i came all this way?????

JEREMY: That was unreal

ADRIENNE: The last stark male?

Poor Sansa

JEREMY: Ohhhh damn

Bloop

What was that weird nod

ADRIENNE: Bran is special

This is a real fucking disappointment

Is this just to distract us from never knowing wtf that raven shit was

JEREMY: Like throw shit at the tv

ADRIENNE: Greyworm sux

STOP

i will not abide Jon’s beard

JEREMY: Lord

I like the messy hair tho

ADRIENNE: I’m really not enjoying this sadly

I like Jon’s fur tho

JEREMY: Itssssa not super triumphant

That fur cape is everything

ADRIENNE: Arya, our little Christopher columbus lol

I just don’t know about any of this

JEREMY: I like that B is writing that history tho

ADRIENNE: Do you

Only if she writes

“Took Ser Brienne’s virgnity”

hahahahaha

JEREMY: He had a steel hand and a steeeeeel D

Hahahahhaha

ADRIENNE: I know that castle is not wheelchair accessible

It is not up to code

JEREMY: Thank god tyrian is rearranging furniture

Totally not up to code they gonna have to fix that

ADRIENNE: Oh Jesus Christ

JEREMY: Lord.

ADRIENNE: Why’s Sam in a Snuggie

JEREMY: He’s a monk now?

Also bran sees everything how’s he asking about shit

ADRIENNE: He sees the past not the future bitch

JEREMY: He gonna sail down them stairs and then we gonna need a new king

Hahahahah

ADRIENNE: Ain’t no ramps in the red keep

JEREMY: Girl for real

ADRIENNE: But Jon at the wall does lead towards my Dany as night queen theory

Always good to see that bitch tormund

JEREMY: Totally

ADRIENNE: I’m like heavy sigh through this

I mean they gave Arya a spy glass HahahHa

JEREMY: lol

At least he’s got his dog

ADRIENNE: Who gave Arya this ship

JONS GOING BEYOND THE WALL

when I’m right about this my heads gonna explode

JEREMY: Lol

ADRIENNE: I came up w this theory bc narratively it doesn’t make sense to have the white walker war before the Cersei war

JEREMY: Totally doesn’t

ADRIENNE: Didn’t the wall burn down? Like where are these people Going

JEREMY: Part of it fell

ADRIENNE: Dude this was disappointment

JEREMY: I think it was always going to be no matter what

ADRIENNE: Maybe

If he had finished the damned books then we’d have something

JEREMY: Bran as king barf

ADRIENNE: Instead that was just a fucking mess

JEREMY: Barf

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GAME OF THRONES: AND NOW OUR CONTENT CYCLE HAS ENDED

GAME OF THRONES: AND NOW OUR CONTENT CYCLE HAS ENDED

CABARET STARS: THEY'RE JUST LIKE US (RHONY RECAP)

CABARET STARS: THEY'RE JUST LIKE US (RHONY RECAP)