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Hi.

Our thumbs are basically numb from texting back and forth 24/7 about everything we love (AND HATE) that's happening on our televisions, iPads, and eye glasses (hi, we think we're funny) and we thought WHY NOT SHARE THIS JOY WITH THE WORLD?!  

5 TRUE CRIME DOCUMENTARIES THAT WILL MAKE YOU SCREAM

5 TRUE CRIME DOCUMENTARIES THAT WILL MAKE YOU SCREAM

For real, for real, the true crime genre is getting a bit ridiculous. You know your girl LOVES me some crime and murrrrrder, but we’re scraping the bottom of the barrel for stories. While, I understand that all victims’ stories should remembered, I most certainly do not believe every true crime story needs to be made into a show. I’M LOOKING AT  YOU, TED BUNDY.

But don’t you worry, your girl has watched everything and found you the best true crime to watch right now:

Abducted in Plain Sight

This story is beyond cray. While you may think that you’ll be screaming because you’re scared - no, girl, this is gonna have you yelling at the top of your lungs because people are real stupid. Look, if you ever felt like a bad parent, watch this and then go pick up your trophy for Best Parent in the World.

Lorena

OH SNAP-A-ROO! Lorena Bobbit is back and I’m squeeing across the room! In 1993, Lorena Bobbit cut off her husband’s floppy D and BOOM a true crime story was born. I was crazy in love with this story when it was happening. Why? Because the bitch literally took justice into her own hands and threw it right out the window. Alright, I get it, that’s not cool, but in this case it was so cool! I’m sorry, Patriarchy, but this felt righteous, especially considering that spousal rape was not made illegal until 1993. WHAT?? I KNOW! I haven’t finished this docuseries, but from the moment they said, “Dick in a field,” I was hooked. They didn’t say that, I’m paraphrasing, also that’s the name of my new band.

God Knows Where I Am

This one isn’t a true crime story, but it truly is a crime what was allowed to happen to Linda Bishop. Mental illness, isolation, and the anguish a family feels after discovering her body in a New Hampshire farmhouse is the focus on this documentary. Uncertain of what had happened to Linda, her diary reveals the pain she suffered in her mind as she tried to survive on apples in the freezing cold until she starved to death. The most frightening part? She was literally living across from another house watching people there before she died! Whew, child! To know that she could have helped herself but couldn’t wrap her mind around that, THAT IS SCARY.

The Case Against Adnan Syed

Let’s start with the fact that all y’all binged the podcast Serial, season 1 so you already know so much before hitting play on this 4 part HBO series. If you don’t know Serial, then you must be living in a cave somewhere and by the way, we have machines that fly people in the air now. The docuseries is based on the murder of Hae Min Lee, a high school student allegedly murdered by her ex-boyfriend Adnan Syed. After Serial, what’s more to say? That’s where Rabia Chaudry comes in. Chaudry is a friend and advocate of Syed. She has been his loudest voice and fighter when it comes to telling his story, she wrote a book on the case. She is passionate, smart, and you should follow her on twitter, but I wouldn’t cross her, she’ll cut you - Sorry, Mike Boudet.

I’m not sure what will be revealed that we did not already know in this series, but I know I hate the dang cartoons they incorporate in the show. I call bullshit because it makes a captivating story feel juvenile and silly. I’m sure the point is to share the idea that we’re talking about teenagers, but I find it distracting. The first episode came out strong by highlighting old classmates, parents, and teachers that all knew the couple plus Rabia’s passion to get justice on this case. My only concern is that if this documentary is based in Chaudry’s personal quest, the series will be pretty lopsided while interesting, just like Free Solo - watch that, too!

Leaving Neverland

ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE, it’s time to acknowledge that WE ALL KNEW. Like every other person in the 40s, when I was a kid I wore the jackets, the pants, and the white socks. I loved MJ like the rest of the world and was obsessed with his music. It’s hard for us to talk about it, but the fact is that even when you were 10 years old, you probably thought to yourself, that old man sleeping in the same bed with a kid my age doesn’t feel right.

It’s a complicated subject because we all loved that goofy looking mofo. Who doesn’t love a man with a sleep chamber and a chimpanzee that had its own wardrobe? Here’s why it hurts so much. In order to discuss what happened to these boys (now men) also means that we need to discuss generational abuse and our role in ignoring what was happening to Michael Jackson himself as he was growing up and the clear meltdowns he was having as an adult. Michael Jackson admitted to being abused by his father Joe Jackson and his sister has alleged that Joe sexually abused her and her sister. It was an open secret, much like the abuse of Wade Robson and James Safechuck, yet no one wanted to acknowledge that either. Generational abuse is not an excuse and in this case, I’m not even sure if it would apply. However, it does bring to light that fucked up shit can be complicated. Sidenote, this is an interesting read on cycle of abuse.

The 4 hour documentary is relentless and some part of me feels like you can skip it. You’re not learning anything you didn’t already suspect, but you are being confronted by reality of it. The two subjects that stand out, which makes it worth watching are: 1. How the families were groomed and subsequently complicit in what happened and 2. How abuse sometimes feels like love.

TIL DEATH METAL DO US PART (RHOBH RECAP)

TIL DEATH METAL DO US PART (RHOBH RECAP)

SO MUCH LUANN (RHONY RECAP)

SO MUCH LUANN (RHONY RECAP)