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Hi.

Our thumbs are basically numb from texting back and forth 24/7 about everything we love (AND HATE) that's happening on our televisions, iPads, and eye glasses (hi, we think we're funny) and we thought WHY NOT SHARE THIS JOY WITH THE WORLD?!  

INTO THE ROUGH (RHOC RECAP)

INTO THE ROUGH (RHOC RECAP)

Shannon Beador has finally made wise decision about a man. She ditched that douchebag of a trainer who mocked her body last season and got a new sweet young thang named Steve to come to her house and help her squat. Yes, young thang, show us how it’s done. Those smug Bravo producers play some goofy-ass music as Shannon attempts to touch her toes as if to say this ain’t working. It’s basically a matter of time before Shannon’s workout footage is sped up and set to Yakety Sax. But trainer Steve will show them all...he seems like he gets results. Before we can even feel happy for Shannon, she tells trainer Steve how she wants to date but doesn’t have the confidence with her body looking this way. If you are watching carefully, Steve seems to have a glimmer in his eye that says “I don’t get paid enough for this shit.”

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Speaking of fitness, Tamra complains to her mom that she’s been trying to help Shannon for years with her weight goals and she’s hurt that Shannon is not using Cut Fitness trainers to help but honestly, there’s no one at cut fitness like Steve.

Tamra and Eddie head out to lunch with Emily and her mole rat husband, Shane. Emily explains that Shane is very sarcastic and has a dry sense of humor but no one's laughing. So perhaps she meant he’s a dick with NO sense of humor. Eddie then reveals that he has stopped taking his heart medication because it makes him drowsy. Geez, it’s a real race to the bottom with the men at this lunch.  

Meanwhile, Kelly takes her daughter Jolie to volunteer at a foodbank so Jolie can learn gratitude. I find this confusing because Jolie seems well adjusted and down-to-earth. It’s her mother that can learn a thing or two about humanity.

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But this is the way with the children of Real Housewives. They are somehow smart, sweet, and generous despite their genetics (notwithstanding Tamra’s kids. Those are not good children.)

The women are going golfing for Vicki’s birthday and Gina and Emily share a ride to the golf course. Gina, who told all the ladies about Shane kicking her out of Emily’s poker night, tells Emily that Shannon was insinuating that Shane has abusive tendencies. Emily is livid, or maybe she isn’t. She doesn’t really make facial expressions. Or express emotions. Sounds like a great strategy for lasting more than one season on this show. Cough.

The women kick off the golf outing by driving recklessly around the course while barely hitting a ball and drinking their faces off. Traditional golf etiquette, if you will. Then over a boozy lunch, Emily accuses Shannon of spreading rumors about Shane, Shannon gets upset and denies this and then somehow blames Tamra for bringing the whole thing up. Tamra claps back at Shannon and tells her to take ownership for her words, which makes poor Shannon cry and run away from the table, then run back and run away again, and somehow Kelly “I will say the cruelest thing imaginable to cut you to your core” Dodd is tasked with trying to calm everyone down.

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All in all a pretty dull episode. More trainer Steve please!

CHAIN REACTION OF DOOM (BACHELOR IN PARADISE RECAP)

CHAIN REACTION OF DOOM (BACHELOR IN PARADISE RECAP)

WILL YOU BE MY BOYFRIEND / GIRLFRIEND, CHECK YES OR NO (BACHELOR IN PARADISE RECAP)

WILL YOU BE MY BOYFRIEND / GIRLFRIEND, CHECK YES OR NO (BACHELOR IN PARADISE RECAP)