WE'RE TALKING ABOUT LAST NIGHT'S DRAG RACE
JEREMY: LORD. I did not like that break last week. THIS IS MY SHOW. I don’t want no breaks. I was so happy when Cracker won and SO SAD when my girl Monet left.
ADRIENNE: Girl, life moves fast, if you don't stop and look around in a while, you might miss it. That is to say, with two weeks between episodes, I'll be lucky if I remember who any of these girls are. Excited to meet them again!
JEREMY: SO EXCITED. EXCITED AF as the kids say.
ADRIENNE: We're back in the werkroom and everyone is sad that Monet left, and girl, #metoo.
JEREMY: SO SAD.
ADRIENNE: But I’m loving all the shade Asia is throwing tonight. She’s OVER IT. She’s like, bye Kameran, bye Cracker, bye civility, it’s time to stop being nice and start being real! WHAT WILL SHE SAY ABOUT LENA DUNHAM??
JEREMY: It’s true though. Bish. Shut up. Don’t act like you’re not glad to be here. Kam is fine. She needs to quit with those old lady outfits though. I’ll tell ya that.
ADRIENNE: Kameran is like so 90s, but like the bad 90s. I’m still confused by who the hell Cheyenne Jackson is even though he’s been here before. Is “Cheyenne Jackson” Marc Jacobs’ stage name? More info please, Jeremy.
JEREMY: AHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHHA. First. I’m excited about Lena. I love her. I don’t care what the haters say, and I’m read sad she’s single again. I loved that dude Jack. HE’S REAL CUTE. Now. Cheyenne. He’s a Broadway guy. He’s done a few shows and been nominated for a Tony Award. He’s also been on American Horror Story? He did the season with Gaga … and was probably on the others in small roles.
ADRIENNE: Dude, I’m so glad they’re back with the mini challenges this season! I love them. Like YASSSS MAKE A FACE ON A PANCAKE. I’m with Eureka, I love a good snack challenge.
JEREMY: Yeah. I’ll admit I love a mini challenge because they’re just FUN. Also? You don’t talk about Ru’s suits anymore and THIS ONE IS A DOOOOOOZIE.
ADRIENNE: GIRL. I mean I noticed it, that's for sure. I was just like the whole time thinking, is there a parrot on there? If there's a parrot I love it. If not, I'm not so sure. But this pancake critique is making me lol a lot. Aquaria’s hand eyeballs and I don't care what anyone says, she has an eye. The way she artfully used that purple lettuce for hair!
JEREMY: I can’t believe Chey has to eat this shit. Wait. Is that even real?
ADRIENNE: UM ASIA JUST WON 2K AT THE SPA FOR A PANCAKE. I’m real jealous right now.
JEREMY: That reminds me. I need to get to the mall for a massage.
ADRIENNE: I love an Evil Twin challenge! And when they have to write dialogue / lines, usually that shit is a trainwreck so, HERE FOR IT. Also, this is like soooooo Ru. Ru’s brand is beating the inner saboteur. LOL.
JEREMY: I LOVE THIS CHALLENGE ALREADY AND IT JUST STARTED. This would be so fun! Imagine the monologues! So fun.
ADRIENNE: Who would your evil twin be????
JEREMY: My evil twin would be straight and not funny. LOL
JEREMY: What would yours be?
ADRIENNE: I think my evil twin would be like a drunken whore? ahhahahaha.
ADRIENNE: Or like my evil twin could be Regina George. LOL. Eating Kaltene bars.
JEREMY: ...and would definitely NOT have bangs.
ADRIENNE: OH SHIT. I hate my evil twin now. LOL. Poor Cracker is getting read for filth for being a robot. Aw. Everybody’s cracking up about being vulnerable. That was a pun. RuPaul is therapizing everyone and I have to say, I would pay like $1000 for a 20 minute RuPaul therapy sesh and a tic tac.
JEREMY: Cracker is real robotic tho, let’s just say it. I WANT THAT BISH TO RELAX. But I’m Jewish. I get it. We don’t do chill.
ADRIENNE: She’s not my fav but I’m sure she’s super nice IRL. She comes across as sorta boring, which is not great for TV.
JEREMY: Yeahhhhhh … you can see the wheels turning and stuff. That’s not good TV viewing.
ADRIENNE: While Ru therapizes everyone for hours, let's talk top 5. Who are your top 5 favs??
JEREMY: I was just thinking … man I love therapy and Ru is giving it to me now … but I don’t know …
Let’s see ....
1) Eureka (who are these bishes who don’t like her I don’t get it)
2) Aquaria (she talented but young with a stank attitude)
3) Asia … I’d put her higher (LOVE HER) … but she’s shaky
5) Kam (over it)
ADRIENNE: Let the record show it just took Jeremy 700 years to rank his top 5.
JEREMY: I wrote it and then I was like … BUT WHATS REAL. WAIT. I’m changing it again.
ADRIENNE: HAHAHAHAHA, you’re cracking me up. I’m easier:
ADRIENNE: Also, let the record show Jeremy changed his answers to match mine.
JEREMY: FAKE NEWS. Imma call the police.
ADRIENNE: Hahahahahahahhaa, the lord knows what’s true.
JEREMY: There is so much therapy happening, girl. I’m ready for this runway.
ADRIENNE: SO MUCH. It's full on Super Soul Sunday in here. But JO, everyone single person’s inner saboteur is like a “You’re not good enough.” Ugh, i hate that. Creatives are so hard on themselves.
JEREMY: So hard. Hating yourself is part of the gift. RUPAUL’S EVIL TWIN SHOWED UP. lol so silly. Is Cracker having a breakdown or is this some bull shit for the TV. OMG. When there are only 5 girls the two hours of the show is A LOT to listen to.
ADRIENNE: Thank god we’ve gotten to the runway!!! What do you think of Ru’s lewk?
JEREMY: Took long enough. Uhhhhh … I’m not in love. I see the two sided joke, but … GIVE ME SEXY GLAMOUR.
ADRIENNE: Nothing excites me about this snow princess look. The makeup of the warrior look is awesome though. Overall cosplay looks give me the yawns.
JEREMY: Well, she clearly made this herself. I hope she’s not applying to Project Runway next.
ADRIENNE: I love Erueka’s Clueless Cher good girl moment. And I think she did a good job with her good/evil plaid moment and hair / makeup. She does a good Divine. I had to stop listening to the voice over tho, lol.
JEREMY: HA! I was thinking Legally Blonde and Divine. This is pretty good but I’m not blown away with the looks. It looks cheap to me.
ADRIENNE: Is her good girl Marie Antoinette in a robe? I give her an LOL for Miz Crumbs tho. But why is Miz Crumbs dressed up like bam bam instead of … crumbs? lol
JEREMY: I like both of these looks … like she’s got her shit together and she does seem more relaxed, maybe all that talk worked?
ADRIENNE: This is very My Fair Lady goes to the club. Aquaria doesn’t disappoint with the fashion. What is on Sabatina’s face tho??? Her voice over is actually not terrible and her evil look is hot.
JEREMY: OH SHIT. Aquaria just leveled up with these looks. She’s always got her runway together, but tonight was really good.
ADRIENNE: Asia’s balloon look is pretty meh, which bums me out. But her evil twin makeup is beyond. Is she dragging a string of coconuts? What is that?
JEREMY: Yeah. The first look is not great, and cheap … the second one was better and the make up is on point.
ADRIENNE: This judging of both lewks as if they’re all on stage is a little lol in a huh sort of way.
JEREMY: It’s hurting my brain. I keep wondering about the direction of this whole episode and how it must have taken 90000 hours to shoot.
ADRIENNE: ME TOO. I’m like, so they filmed one, or they just made them film reactions and cut them in? Or what happened.
JEREMY: Asking the evil twins who should go home. WHAT A MESS, RU!
ADRIENNE: DAMN, Asia went for Cracker and Kameran again! LOL. But for me, they could both go home, sorry not sorry.
JEREMY: WHEW LORD. They came for Cracker. I hope she’s not crying in the back and I also hope she kick’s Kameran’s ass in the lip sync that I think we know is coming.
ADRIENNE: Has Cracker lip synced before? I can’t remember.
JEREMY: I don’t think so?
ADRIENNE: I think Aquaria is the winner. I also loved Eureka. But Aquaria’s lewks were everything. Ru LOVES her outfits.
JEREMY: Aquaria totally won. I mean she must have.
ADRIENNE: This good girls back stage, bad girls reactions on stage is hurting my brain. TOO MANY PEOPLE.
JEREMY: It’s funny but I’m like QUIT THIS SILLY SHIT. lololol
ADRIENNE: It's like the gayest episode of the Parent Trap ever or something. WHO ARE WE ROOTING FOR.
ADRIENNE: Have you ever heard this song?
JEREMY: NEVER ONCE HAVE I HEARD THIS SONG.
ADRIENNE: That was some real water aerobics leg art Kameran was throwing around, lol.
JEREMY: I thought she was gonna go home until that move.
ADRIENNE: I really don’t get what they see in Kameran? Like her costume wasn’t even Khaleesi good. Also, not one Vangie tonight? A week off and it's like we forget everything. VANGIE.
JEREMY: LORD. I don’t get it either. Wonder who’s gonna lip sync against her next week? Now I’m angry. SHE GOTTA GO.