WE READ THE SHIT OUT OF THE MET GALA LEWKS
The Met Gala was last night, y'all. I can hear the straights screaming ... WTF IS A MET GALA. Well my dudes, are you even on the internet and also get a gay friend. The Met Gala, formally called the Costume Institute Gala (but only by people so rich they've never heard of Beyonce), is an annual fundraiser (yes, even rich bitches have these, honey) for the Metropolitan Museum of Art's Costume Institute in NYC. It's basically the grand opening of the Costume Institute's annual fashion exhibit. Each year has a theme, and only the fanciest of the fancy are invited to attend. You know ... Oscar winners, models, Kanye's mother-in-law ... bitches like that.
All that being said ... it's basically rich people Halloween. They take whatever the theme is and go wild with it ... they're supposed to anyway. You'll always see a basic MF wearing a dress they borrowed from somebody that looks like some Oscar trash. BUT WE ARE NOT HERE FOR THAT. This year's exhibit (and theme for the event) is “Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination.” Girl, I don't know WTF that means other than get your eyes ready for some religious messiness. I mean, MAYBE. Who knows. When you have access to real live actual fashion designers ... ANYTHING can happen. The event begins on the iconic red carpeted stairs of the Met, where guests sweep up the carpet for their grand entrance. Take a look at some of our faves and be sure to spend your day googling the gala because THERE IS A LOT TO SEE.
The Olsen Twins
ADRIENNE: Holy shit, when did Mary Kate become a full fledged witch?
JEREMY: SERIOUSLY. It's like a Game of Thrones winter kaftan collection.
ADRIENNE: I can't get over it. I mean, THEY'RE TWINS. Like Ashley looks aight. But life in France married to an old man has been rough for our girl MK. Possibly also she needs a cheeseburger. In regards to the lewks though, I'm into it. Very Dorothy Zbornak chic. Would wear.
JEREMY: Fine, but I want the shiny one. I can't be exposing my tits AND have that necklace get caught in my chest hairs.
ADRIENNE: She is an oscar statue at the Vatican.
JEREMY: There is so much happening here. I can't look at it for very long, it makes me hold my breath. That cop in the back is in control of the strings that are keeping her in this thing. Too bad the same control system can't be used on Kanye.
ADRIENNE: ZING! I mean maybe because I'm almost 40, but like I can't stop thinking about how uncomfortable this looks. Like the whole time you're just like, release me! Release me, Lord! And you're praying to those crosses on your hips, but nothing happens you're still in Krisye's prison of tits and ass.
JEREMY: TRUST. She didn't breathe allllllllllll night. She's wearing too much undergarment gadgetry for that.
ADRIENNE: HIGH FIVE TO MADONNA EVERYONE STOLE YOUR LEWK FROM 1989.
JEREMY: Is she Richard III, the Grim Reaper, or the physical embodiment of her last album? Help. I can't tell.
ADRIENNE: She's been rocking those braids too long. It's weird. Those black roses she's got clutched in her hand are very bad girl first communion. Which is a little odd since Madonna is now 59.
ADRIENNE: Every time I see Jared Leto I think about how he was trying to read "Brian Krakow" on a sign up list and he was like "Brain? Brain Krakow?" LOL GIRLS BE LOVING THE DUMB HOT BOYZ. Also, apparently now he is actually Jesus and apparently Jesus is sexy as fuck so ok then.
JEREMY: He's sexy AF. I can't even be mean about this BS. Also is he taking magic hair growth pills? He just shaved his head like 4.5 minutes ago and now he's back to a full wig. WHAT IS HE TAKING. I WANT THOSE PILLS.
ADRIENNE: Check out the lifts on those shoes. Whooo boy.
JEREMY: Wait. What did you say? I lost my hearing back there when you said Madonna was ALMOST SIXTY.
SARAH JESSICA PARKER AND ANDY COHEN
ADRIENNE: Holy shit her face says it all. She looks like she's holding in a fart so hard. That headwrap nativity scene is something else.
JEREMY: He was shitty to Kathy Griffin, I'm not sure I can forgive him. BUT. I like his coat. Is she Elfish? She's giving me Queen Mother of the Elves here. Also. We get it. Your thing is putting shit on your head for this event, but like maybe next time don't since you're clearly trying to not squeeze out tears. Also? CAN I GET A COLOR ON THESE LIPS?
ADRIENNE: OMG good call. That's why she looks sorta old and in pain. I love that Andy is like, I will look foolish only with this coat and shoes, which I will take off as soon as I get inside and be tasteful in this James Bond tux, thank you very much.
JEREMY: Love the wings, love the boots, hate this dress. This is like half a look.
ADRIENNE: Courtney Act wore it better. REMEMBER THAT?
ADRIENNE: Also, I sorta feel like KP used to have a lot of fresh and fun ideas, like all her candy costumes, but this sorta just feels like, yeah, she's got wings on, whatever.
JEREMY: I'm pretty sure this is a prank from Taylor Swift. Guess what? TAYLOR WON.
ADRIENNE: Fucking queen of everything, bow down.
JEREMY: She's my favorite. She should get a THIRD Oscar for this moment.
AMAL IMMA WEAR PANTS ON THE RUNWAY CLOONEY
JEREMY: This is gorgeous. It's like yeah bish I'm wearing jeans. JK. LOOK AT THIS TRAIN.
ADRIENNE: I mean obviously Amal does no wrong ever. She's never looked bad. And I have to tell you, I think of Amal often when people want me to settle for some lame ass dude. I'm like, nah, I'm gonna have a kick ass career and be regal as fuck and wait for my very own George Clooney.
ADRIENNE: Ri is always the best because she serves so much look in that face. She's like, fuck off mofos, I'm the queen. Outfit looks itchy.
JEREMY: Riri is the QUEEN of this event. She kills it every year. This year is no exception. I love it. I love her. Amen. The end. There's a short skirt in the front you can't really see in this pic. It's sort of a 90s moment. LOVE.
ADRIENNE: Runway is Astrology Eleganza Extravaganza!
JEREMY: Oh, cool. It's a Practical Magic revival. LOL. Well, thank goodness she's a wonderful actress, because this is putting me to sleep. AGAIN: CAN I GET A RED LIP UP IN HERE.
JEREMY: I LOVE IT. She's like OH CATHOLICS? YEAH. They hate queer folks, so EAT MY GAY SUPER HERO CAPE, MR POPE. It's my favorite of the night.
ADRIENNE: YASSSS. If you can tell the haters to fuck off while wearing a cape, you should do it. Even if the cape looks like a hot air balloon from Napa Valley.