WE'RE TALKING ABOUT LAST NIGHT'S DRAG RACE
JEREMY: Girl. I was sorta excited about Snatch Game because it always separates the girls from the LADIES, but then I saw Audra McDonald is the guest judge and I almost exploded. She’s my favorite everything. I’ve seen her on Broadway a couple times and I’m gonna stop talking or I’ll never get to talking about the show. AUDRA FOREVER.
ADRIENNE: I feel like a bad person, but I really mostly know Audra from Ricki and the Flash??? <<shame bell>> But look, I’m a late in life theater kid, it can't be helped.
JEREMY: SCREAMS ... uhhhh ... this is me and my husband after a performance of Lady Day ... the play that got My Queen her SIXTH Tony Award. That's more acting Tonys than anybody else ever on planet Earth. sooooo. Lord. I look insane. lol
ADRIENNE: Ok, we’re back with girls on the couch, blah blah. Vixen says she’s a role model for all these queens back home. Eureka’s like, you might not want to be so mean all the time then, girl. And then Vixen is mean. GAGGED.
JEREMY: Vixen needs to calm down. She’s fine? Meaning ... SHES NOT THAT AMAZING.
ADRIENNE: Monique is bummed because she doesn’t have enough money for lewks and she thinks it’s holding her back. Chi Chi death dropped her way out of that issue, girl. GET TO IT.
JEREMY: I think her sewing ability is awesome and it’s going to end up benefiting her. They just trying to up the DRAAAAMA.
ADRIENNE: THE LIBRARY IS OPEN! I just want to say this morning I was spinning and the instructor said something was “legendary” and all I could think about was JuJu and her Raven “legs and dairy” read and like, that shit doesn’t really make that much sense, but I LOVE IT and have never forgotten it, lol.
Season 10 Favorite Reads:
Aquaria: The Villian. I mean The Vixen.
The Vixen: Asia! WHY DONT YOU FIGHT SOME OF THEM WIGS WITH SOME SOAP AND WATER. (this read is the only time we've ever thought about liking this heaux)
Miz Cracker: Aquaria, people don’t appreciate how much money you have to spend on makeup when you’re covering two faces.
JEREMY: Here’s what … This was fun as usual, but this time was aiiiiight?
ADRIENNE: I miss Alaska. I love when she reads people. But they’re really setting Eureka up to be this season's winner.
JEREMY: LIKEEEEE … really setting it up. I love that she won the challenge. When she told Kameron she didn’t have a read she just wanted him to fuck her we hit the rewind 3 times to LOL.
ADRIENNE: That was awesome. As a gal with a loud personality I feel a lot of sisterhood with Eureka and want her to do well. OK, girl, Ru and Bianca Del Rio are here to coach the ill-considered Snatch Game choices. The Vixen’s gonna be Blue Ivy. How do you think this is gonna turn out? Also, are you a Bianca Del Rio fan?
JEREMY: I love Bianca! BLUE IVY THO? I’m getting my popcorn for this girl to GO HOMO.
ADRIENNE: They’re really setting up for a bye bye Vixen or a Vixen triumph. But since we’ve never heard Blue speak, I think she’s fucked. Like you gotta be a real talented improv performer to give someone with zero personality an interesting and funny personality. (No offense, Blue, you cute as hell.)
JEREMY: It sounds DUMB AF. I love that Ru is being REAL HONEST to these girls while checking in with everyone this season. He’s kicked it up a notch this season with the TRUTH.
ADRIENNE: I mean obviously Eureka should be Honey Boo Boo. That’s a no brainer.
JEREMY: Hassss to do it. I love Ru … he’s right … MAKE IT FUCKING FUNNY, BITCH. Omg. I’m so excited. Whew … except we’re off to a slow start. Dorothy Parker? What a mess.
ADRIENNE: JEREMY, SERIOUS QUESTION. Do these gals really have no idea what’s funny or they’re playing it up for TV? Like dude, everyone knows Snatch Game is less about looking like a person and more about choosing a wacky ass person with a ton of personality and going crazy with it. I’ve only heard Beyonce speak like twice and she was always polite. THAT AIN’T IT, GIRL.
JEREMY: Yeah. This check in was real shaky. DO THEY KNOW AUDRA IS WATCHING?
ADRIENNE: I mean before they left home, weren’t their friends like, how about you do Carrie Bradshaw and you answer every question with a “I couldn’t help but wonder…” SEE I’M WINNING SNATCH GAME ALREADY.
JEREMY: You know who I love though? MAYA ANGELOU, oh and shocker … Eureka. Aquaria is also doing well with Melania.
ADRIENNE: This Melania i’m living for. I loved the HELP ME gift. And the squinty eyes! It's delightful. I actually think Chyna is a decent choice for Kameran since she’s sorta manish. This Beyonce is terrible.
JEREMY: They’re going down in flames. Beyonce and Blue BOTH. Maya is killing me.
ADRIENNE: LET THE WORLD KNOW I LOVE THIS MAYA ANGELOU. But, girl, I mean Blue Ivy didn’t know the House of Dereon???? Girl. Eureka is perfect for Honey Boo Boo. This Maxine Waters is uncomfortable. Holy shit this Maya moment:
"LIKE DUST STILL I RISE."
I burst out laughing for real.
JEREMY: Monet X Change was soooo Maya I thought it was actually Maya.
ADRIENNE: Oprah rushed over to the studio because she thought Maya was risen from the grave. Maya Angelou ain’t no punk bitch was again, amazing. This has to be the winner, that voice is perfection.
JEREMY: OMG. I need Oprah to guest judge.
ADRIENNE: Jeremy. If Oprah guest judged I would literally die. I’ve got my Oprah and Ru picture framed on my desk. Also when Aquaria called RuPaul Barack i also burst out laughing. She’s doing a killer Melania squint. This Beyonce and Blue Ivy stuff is just like so embarrassing for everyone. But overall, a fun snatch game. Monet, Aquaria, Eureka SLAYED.
JEREMY: Vixen starting this drama in the workroom is terrible … SHE WAS THE WORST. She needs to quit this fighting with Eureka mess. Her runway look had better KILLL it or she gone
ADRIENNE: Vixen is whiney and always trying to start drama. It bums me out we aren’t rooting for our Chicago queen.
Mermaid Fantasy Runway
ADRIENNE: OH MY GOD THEY'RE COMING OUT IN BETTE MIDLER WHEELCHAIRS. I’M GAGGED.
JEREMY: The Vixen is aiiiiight on the runway. It looks real cheap. She better get scared.
ADRIENNE: I fucking love Aquaria on every runway. She looks fucking amazing. Oil slick mermaid, it’s fucking amazing. I may give her the overall win this week. I also love Eureka’s Ursula’s Cousin mermaid. VANGIE.
JEREMY: I’m feeling bad for Monique. I love her but her Maxine Waters was a mess and her runway was messy messy messy. Maybe she's right about the looks and having to Project Runway EVERY SINGLE challenge.
ADRIENNE: Holy shit, Vixen’s cardboard tits.
JEREMY: WHAT A MESS. The Vixen melts down and it’s gross and dumb. How many times do I need to say I want her to go home.
ADRIENNE: The Vixen attacking Eureka is some REAL BULLSHIT. This is some real nasty jealousy sour grapes. It’s also sort of laughable to call someone unprofessional when your cardboard tits are in your armpits.
JEREMY: It’s shocking. But I do want her wig. It’s gorgeous. There. I said something nice.
ADRIENNE: I think you’re gonna be able to buy that wig at the next Brown Elephant sale cause the Vixen is RETIRED.
ADRIENNE: That close up of Asia O’Hara’s fish mask just made me LOL a lot. Also, Michelle’s face is like not moving at all. LOL. I feel like Aquaria deserved that win. Her runway really sealed it for her, she looked amazing.
JEREMY: At first I was like nahhhh … but it couldn’t go to Eureka gain, so yeahhh … she deserved it.
ADRIENNE: I mean the best snatch was the Maya Angelou. But that fucking oil slick mermaid has still got me gagging. I like that snotty bitch.
JEREMY: Vixen and Monique have to lip sync and it’s the saddest thing we’ve seen since Valentina wore a mask over her face. HOW COULD MONIQUE NOT KNOW THE WORDS. She's letting America down right now.
ADRIENNE: What the fuck is this song? Ru picks the weirdest shit sometimes. Nobody on the judges panel looks like they’re enjoying watching this trainwreck. I can’t believe we’re gonna get stuck with the Vixen again.
JEREMY: I love Monique, but she’s making us keep the Vixen, so I might hate her ass. Also yeah. WTF IS THIS SONG.
ADRIENNE: This is sad. But i would watch this episode again all for that Maya. And dude, Kate Upton is so pretty, I just like looking at her face.
I JUST GASPED ANDREW RANNELLS IS COMING!!!!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.
JEREMY: CHER THO.
ADRIENNE: Ok, fine, this season has really made up for the All Stars nightmare. ANDREW RANNELLS!