WE'RE TALKING ABOUT LAST NIGHT'S DRAG RACE
JEREMY: Lord help me. Both Kameran and Eureka getting saved last week nearly killed me. BUT … now that we’re a whole week away from that? I gotta say … that lip sync was just aiiiight. I didn’t think it was life changing.
ADRIENNE: I don’t even remember what happened, girl. A whole week has passed! Meghan Markle became a princess! She wore Givenchy and Stella McCartney and her dog rode in a car with the Queen. It’s been a lot. But I will say, Kameran Michaels, whatever, she can go home.
JEREMY: OMG. That wedding. Who can remember anything from this show after that!
ADRIENNE: As always, I’m bored by the who went home couch kiki.
JEREMY: Less talking more doing. I don’t like special moments. I want ACTION. You know what I forgot about that killed me when I saw it again. What the hell is Aquaria’s look from last week?
ADRIENNE: The weird ear spreaders are just vomitus.
JEREMY: SO GROSS. This shade from Aquaria is a lot for me to handle though. I don’t like that she turned everyone staying last week into how she’s farther away from the crown. She turned it into something about herself.
ADRIENNE: Well The Vixen is back home in Chicago so somebody’s got to Regina George this bitch.
JEREMY: There always has to be a shady heaux. ANNNNNTHEN she had to apologize. Girl. Biiiiiiiiiiiii. OH AND NOW? These bitches gotta be dudes for the mini-challenge. Mkayyyy
ADRIENNE: I’m going into PTSD because this is like what a real sad night of Bumble swiping looks like for me! This is what all the single men are like -- they’re holding dead fish and look like they smell and have patchy mustaches.
JEREMY: omg. I’m so happy I don’t know anything about internet dating. I’m praying I never have to.
ADRIENNE: Obviously Kameran Michaels is gonna win boy drag, but look, I love Eureka this season and her back country boy drag gas station attendant with mountain dew mullet is pleasing me.
JEREMY: I meannnnn. OBVI. Kameran’s hot. I can barely handle it. EVENSO: GO HOME.
ADRIENNE: WHAT TO THE WHAT! EUREKA WITH THE WIN! Damn, Kameran, if you can’t even win the tailor made boy challenge, you gots to go!
JEREMY: OMG. Eureka! Lolololol Yeah. Biiiiii KAM
ADRIENNE: I do love a makeover challenge! The madeover dudes always mostly look just aight and it’s a real live testament to how hard great drag is. But look do you have any idea who any of these social media “stars” are???
JEREMY: I’ve only heard of one of these dudes. Tyler Oakley? I don’t know why I’ve heard of him or like what he does and the others look like they’re all about 13. OMG. Am I already this old? I don’t know what’s happening.
ADRIENNE: I think we’re too old for social media stars. Whatever. I remember life before the internet, mmmkay.
JEREMY: Even just the phrase SOCIAL MEDIA STARS. That makes me wanna take a calcium pill.
ADRIENNE: JEREMY, IS FRANKIE ACTUALLY CYNTHIA LEE FONTAINE?? ARE WE GONNA SEE HER CUCU?
JEREMY: Yessssssss CUCU FOR DAYS. Like … they have the same crazy eyes. I hope this works and she ain’t killing herself with a giant personality to compete with.
ADRIENNE: I’m lol-ing at Asia’s dude who is just living for his damn self already. He puts on a sequined coat and he’s fucking Lady Bunny. Also Monet’s dude has a fetus face, I bet he can get painted for the Gods. SHORT CHANGE!
JEREMY: SHORT CHANGE makes me lol. This guy is cute. GAH.
ADRIENNE: I like Short Change’s happy vibe. He’s very cute and sweet.
ADRIENNE: I mean should we follow him on social media? But like where?
JEREMY: Will the internet let us? Can we even see these people on twitter or whatever, or are our eyes too old for that?
ADRIENNE: I really don’t want to get to the place where I just watch YouTube videos all the time. Like I just learned Instagram stories.
JEREMY: FOR REAL. What a sad life, like haven’t y’all heard of NBC? DANG.
ADRIENNE: I love Cracker’s dude being confused about what a tuck is. BRAH, you can infer what it means pretty easily.
JEREMY: This dude is straight tho? He’s giving me gay mouth a little. I mean look at those teeth. THOSE ARE GAY TEETH.
ADRIENNE: Kameran’s dude is hot. I’d hit it. I love a normcore dude, it’s so sad for me.
JEREMY: SO HOT. LOLOLOL and also straight. Kam is all nervous. I also get like this around straight dudes. I don’t know what to do and I’m scared they’re gonna hurt my feelings.
ADRIENNE: Jeremy, that’s really sad. But then, I think maybe that’s how I feel too? HAHAHAHHA. I like Aquaria’s confidence, I can’t help it. She’s like, i’m gonna make you look great, whatever. While Kameran is over there pouting.
JEREMY: I didn’t even think about Eureka giving her this dude because he’s black. Is that really what she did? I don’t know.
ADRIENNE: I think….yes? She thought she wouldn’t know how to do a black girl’s makeup? Is that racisisistic?
JEREMY: Almost? Maybe? Maybe not? I think Imma say no. but I got some big eyes about it.
ADRIENNE: I mean, we don’t know. Someone tell us. But like ARIANA GRANDE’S BROTHER, WOW, PIPE DOWN SHORT STACK.
ADRIENNE: Jeremy, Ru is living for herself with these critiques! Like she is having so much damn fun. One second she’s a homegirl, the next she’s a valley girl, she's twerking, and god, i just want to be her best friend.
JEREMY: Yeah, is this happening in the morning? Like is she drinking a bucket of coffee? She’s really cranking these chats up lately. I LOVE IT. I guess with The Vixen gone we need some DRAMA.
ADRIENNE: I’m also a little like, enough talking, more makeovering.
JEREMY: Yeah. can it be the runway now?
ADRIENNE: HOLY SHIT RU JUST QUOTED AUNTIE MAME!!!! “Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!” God, I love Auntie Mame. I didn’t think I could love Ru more, but now, I’m just all warm inside. “She’s passing the Master of the Hounds! Mother of Jefferson Davis, she’s passing the fox!”
JEREMY: That was a super rad moment. I love this EXTRA chat sessions.
ADRIENNE: Oh thank god, let’s start filming some bad music videos, I’m ready.
JEREMY: I guess this challenge needed something extra but also: WHHHHHHHat.
ADRIENNE: Jeremy, Eureka just said her dude had more nuts than face and that was hilarious and the fetus did a skirt reveal! Social media bitches will do anything for fame. LOVE.
JEREMY: That boy has a lot o’nuts. Something. There’s a whole bag of Easter Eggs or something hiding out in them panties. I still do not understand what this video situation is gonna be like. We ain’t seen nothin.
ADRIENNE: Jeremy, who the hell are these guest judges? Like. Who. The. Hell.
JEREMY: WAIT. OMG. I feel young again. Miles is from Parenthood and some other show I can’t remember right now and LIZZO is THE BEST. Please google Feeling Good. It’s my favorite song. It’s a work out jam.
ADRIENNE: Oh! Now I recognize him as Mae Whitman’s sullen little brother.
JEREMY: WHAT IS RU’S LOOK? And what is her giggle fit???? LOL she’s lit up tonight,
ADRIENNE: VANGIE. Can I just get something off my chest? One million seasons later and like, I still don’t love Michelle Visage. She’s so loud and so much. And I’m loud, so like I feel bad, because she should be my sister. But nah, girl, pipe down. And like, SANTINO. Why can’t I have Santino. I’m all worked up, I’m going to go get a piece of cheese. Vangie.
JEREMY: I love her look tonight. I just wish she were more warm? She kinda scares me. I wish we could get a tender moment from her for a dang sec. Ru is both Heidi AND Tim Gunn. She needs to step it up and give us something other than killer eye wear and eyebrows that might cut you.
DRAG FAMILY VALUES RUNWAY
ADRIENNE: America O’Hara is LIVING FOR HERSELF.
JEREMY: Love these looks. Love Asia. These jacket or whatever is everything.
ADRIENNE: I like the Eureka and Eufreka, but look, that’s Cynthia Lee Fontaine, you can’t tell me any different. CUCU.
JEREMY: They’re cute … and I think their story works … BECAUSE THAT’S CUCU.
ADRIENNE: Aquaira and Capricia Corn don’t look like a family? Will Aquaria lip sync tonight???
JEREMY: Yeah they look good, but I don’t know about this family resemblance.
ADRIENNE: Is Cookie more beautiful than Cracker????
JEREMY: Cookie is GORGEOUS.
ADRIENNE: I like those X Changes, they’re cute. Love and light, y’all.
JEREMY: OMG. I LOVE MONET. The changes are cute and they have a similar walk and stuff. I love them. AND SHIT ALLLLL THAT HAIRRRR. Love. I ain’t mad at a pussycat wig, but I love this big hair.
ADRIENNE: I mean, sorry, Kelly Michaels looks like a dude. LOL
JEREMY: They’re both dudely. Good work though. The actual dude needs some walking lessons.
ADRIENNE: What do you think, Kameran and Aquaria in the bottom???
JEREMY: Well, I think the real part of the challenge is the bonding? That can make you almost look like someone else, you know? The energy can be transformative. OH, GOD. Am I turning into RuPaul?
ADRIENNE: Jeremy, right after you said this, Ru said Capricia Corn didn’t have enough “internal transformation.” hahahahaha
Also, I have nothing to say about this DIY lip sync video. LOL.
JEREMY: That’s good because THAT WAS STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPID.
ADRIENNE: OMG MIZ CRACKER WITH A WIN! Her girl was the most shockingly beautiful I think.
JEREMY: SO HAPPY … for her and Marilyn MonHEAUX! Lololol That makeup and wig situation is SO GOOD. She should be proud.
ADRIENNE: I’m happy for her too. I feel like she needed a boost. WHAT! Aquaria is safe???? I love her and I find that shocking. This better be the end of Kameran.
JEREMY: YEAH. WTF. That ain’t right.
ADRIENNE: OMG this lip sync! LOVE THIS SONG but Kameran’s cartwheel felt desperate.
JEREMY: Desperate, but she is owning the energy of this lip sync. She feels bigger to me.
ADRIENNE: Monet is GIVING ME LIFE. Walking off stage! Breaking lightbulbs! It’s my everything. Her final pose! YASSSSSSS.
JEREMY: I loved that move, but it made me nervous. NEVER TURN AWAY FROM THE AUDIENCE! ACTING ONE OH ONE. I’m nervous.
ADRIENNE: I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS OUTCOME. I CANNOT BELIEVE IT. WHAT IS HAPPENING. WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED.
JEREMY: I cannot believe this. I am devastated. It’s just not right. I really liked their look. I really liked their energy. I loved this lip sync. I’m gonna need a minute to get over this one. I mean this was a better lip sync than last week and last week the both stayed.
ADRIENNE: Monet, we love you. <sob>