WE'RE TALKING ABOUT LAST NIGHT'S DRAG RACE
ADRIENNE: Jeremy, The Vixen left a shady message on the mirror! Of course she did. I’m real tired of talking about the Vixen! I was at Starbucks this morn and the Chicago Reader had The Vixen on the cover and i was reading it and like NOPE. I dunno, I just can’t with that hardcore negativity. I’m sure she’s a sweet person under it all, but ugh, it’s exhausting. I’m too old for negative gals in my life.
JEREMY: OMG. So tired of talking about this heaux. If you don’t want to be edited to look like a bitch… DONT ACT LIKE A BITCH. Don’t start none… won’t be none. We just got around to watching Untucked last night… and we were like… oh, this poor girl… she’s just young. When you’re young you think you have to fight and yell and scream all the time. When you get a little older you realize that’s not something you have to do. Just be kind, and BELIEVE… everybody’s gonna get theirs.
ADRIENNE: I totally agree with that.
Kameran says it feels weird to say that she won and i’m like NO SHIT, GIRL I CAN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER. And then she goes into some complicated explanation of her neuroses and I’m gonna call it now, Kameran’s going home tonight.
JEREMY: I’m still shocked. She’s talking so much. It’s sorta refreshing. Except Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
ADRIENNE: Aquaria's like, I wasn't in the bottom three, bitch, and I love this bitch. And I agree totally, there was no chance of her going home. Also you know I’m living for this blonde banged straight hair.
JEREMY: I can’t really believe that either though. She’s being a big old bitch in this moment, but… really bottom 3? I love this hair too, but I’m about to snatch those eye coverings out of her face. She’s super confident, but like… she she’s fine. Is this gonna be a repeat of the Ginger Minj season? Are we gonna get Aquaria… ie Violet Chachki??
ADRIENNE: Girl, Aquaria is much better than Violet Chachki. Violet Chachki is a snooze.
JJEREMY: I'm still mad about Violet. Blech
ADRIENNE: OMG they’re gonna play Concentration with Pit Crew underwear! I’m living for this. NUMBER TWO’S ASS IS SO TINY HOW DOES HE WALK!
JEREMY: SCREAMING. Welcome to the Asstrodome! AAAAHHHHAHAHAHAA
ADRIENNE: OMG I’m so embarrassed for 10 after we saw 17’s ass! Who wore it best? Number 17 all day, every day. MAMA LIKES.
JEREMY: This game is so silly. Ru is killing me. “You didn’t miss no meals, did ya.”
ADRIENNE: But like where are the Andrew Christian undies? Some of these are bikinis are cut weird and makes their butts look flat.
JEREMY: I went blind after seeing 17’s ass. How does that even happen? That was magic.
ADRIENNE: Aquaria wins and gets to assign the roles. What’s this bitch gonna do?
JEREMY: Bitches better panic, cause you know she’s about to fuck these bitches up.
WAIT. WHAT. I’m shocked. She was nice? Well, that was a let down. I NEED MY DRAMA.
ADRIENNE: Ummmm i took some medicine and I don’t really understand what happened with the role assignments. Like they just read the descriptions instead of the lines? Who? What? Did the producers interfere? What’s happening.
JEREMY: What had happened was… Aquaria fucked up assigning these rolls. They shoulda read the script first.
ADRIENNE: OK, Guru Ru has got to go table to table reminding everyone there's only 6 girls and you gotta STAND OUT.
JEREMY: Ru rakes these bitches over the coals! I love that he’s so real with them. Like… what was Aquaria thinking by not being strategic with the roll assignments? Also? Thank you for telling Monet to GET SOME BIG HAIRS.
Girl. When Ru says “Remember who you are,” it knocked me out. Imagine RuPaul saying that to you about anything. LORD JESUS.
ADRIENNE: “Vulnerability is Power” -- RuPaul Charles
Jeremy, do you think you’ve been using your vulnerability as power?
JEREMY: She trying to get all Brene Brown on us now. Ru could be a therapist. DANG. I try to be honest and open and vulnerable, but I don’t know that I always get there. It’s hard to relax and just let everything BE … especialllllly on the stage in the hot lights. lol
ADRIENNE: OMG are the producers making Eureka throw this challenge? What’s happening?
JEREMY: FIRST OF ALL. Why is Michelle tryna be the queen of eyewear all of a sudden? Is she representing Pearl Vision or some shit? ANNND… yeah… is this girl nervous or what? She’s always screaming all the time, what is happening.
ADRIENNE: I love how the long haired pit crew guy in the background is just tossing his hair and eating constantly. The girls are getting critiques and he’s like “chicken wing.”
JEREMY: LOL YASSS… this Ivy Winters shit. WHAT. I need a Xanax. What is she doing. I’m panicked. Clearly I cannot hide my love for Eureka. FIGHT ME.
ADRIENNE: Monet looks so gorgeous and is cracking me up!
JEREMY: Yesss, AND Mz. Cracker being psycho and talking to herself to coach herself through the whole thing is terrible, but hilarious.
ADRIENNE: The filming of the acting challenges is always so uncomfortable. Let's go to the old lady runway. And i know you’re going nuts over there about Aquaria talking about respecting your elders and things that happened before you were alive lolololololololol
JEREMY: HAHAHAHAHA! Girl. When Cracker said she didn’t know what Loveboat was I was likeeee… I mean I know she wasn’t around for the show when it aired live, but YOU'RE GAY EDUCATE YOURSELF.
I’m glad Eureka is aware that she fucked up, but I’ll tell you right now I’m nervous for her.
These bitches talking about age. They need to shut up. LOL
ADRIENNE: Ru is looking pretty gorge tonight I love that hair and those hips.
JEREMY: OH MY GOD. I love a gold moment. Ru looks amazing. She has been a little on fire this whole episode. Giving it to those girls in the talkbacks and now this look.
ADRIENNE: Miz Cracker doesn’t look all that old?
JEREMY: ‘Cause that bitch don’t know what old is.
ADRIENNE: Asia is making me laugh with her house shoes.
JEREMY: She’s LIVING after that pep talk from Mama Ru. I love it.
ADRIENNE: OMG MONET’S DRAGGY TITTIES AND SISSY THAT WALKER. I love this shit.
JEREMY: SISSY THAT WALKER. I love this runway. It might be my favorite. SCREAMING at these titties.
ADRIENNE: I want to wear those titties EVERYWHERE. I dunno about Aquaria’s old lady? The makeup is pretty convincing but I’m not sure about the flesh toned outfit? I don’t know that i get this lewk.
JEREMY: Yeah. It’s like sometimes she knows when to go next level and sometimes she doesn’t. She needs some of that magic from last week. She needs to give us Met Gala errrrry week.
ADRIENNE: I love old Eureka. She’s fucking Delta Burke. She lives in Savannah, I’m here for it.
JEREMY: Pretty cute, but she might have needed to REALLY GO FOR IT this week on the runway since her challenge work was a dud.
ADRIENNE: I dunno about Kameran’s epileptic fit across the stage.
JEREMY: Loved her on the runway. I love nervous energy. lol
ADRIENNE: Hold your breath, it's time for Breastworld.
JEREMY: These man in the background are real hot. That mini-challenge has me checking out the men all through the scene. There are some hair models back there.
ADRIENNE: Aquaria’s robot is totally cracking me up. She’s super memorable for me.
JEREMY: !!!! killing it. She threw some Cher in there! LOL
ADRIENNE: Zane just messaged me this is the worst acting challenge she’s ever seen. What say you? I mean it’s def like 45 minutes too long. Who is this singing? Why?
JEREMY: It’s real bad. I just realized I’ve been watching these hair model men in the background more than I’ve been watching the actual show. I take everything back… Aquaria is killing it.
Also praise the lord for Asia. Para Salin … that shit is so funny.
They just had a Designing Women moment and I’m pretty sure I’m the oldest living woman.
ADRIENNE: I’m too tired to recap what the judges said and i can’t breathe from this cold. Btw, do you watch Broad City?
JEREMY: HAHAHAHA… yeah it’s a lot. Basically I got… Aquaria is gold… Eureka is a fucking mess… and Asia is pulling herself out of the ditch. I don’t watch Broad City. I need to… everybody tells me it was created for me.
ADRIENNE: Re Broad City they say the same thing to me! But the couple times I've seen it I was like ... ok?
OMG READ OF THE NIGHT: “She looks like Paula Deen dressed like a witch.” --Ross
JEREMY: I think my favorite thing about this show, lol… jk… ONE OF my favorite things about this show… is how Ru knows the girls so well he translates their choices and basically says they’re doing this because of xyz… and the subtext to the girls is… YOUR CHOICES ARE VALID. I love that. It’s not exactly right, but this is what it was about. It’s so kind.
ADRIENNE: Yay for Asia! I’m happy for her, she looked gorgeous in breastworld and was very funny.
JEREMY: I’m so happy for Asia. When Ru said “REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE”… I knew that was gonna light her ass on fire. Also? I fucking love her.
ADRIENNE: Obviously I don’t see Kameran as a real contender and love Eureka so you know where my allegiance lies for this lip sync.
JEREMY: WHEW LORD Eureka and Kam. Eureka better eat her face and get her shit together. We’re so late in the competition who can tell who should be in the bottom anymore? I mean Eureka yes, but Kam? Maybe? Am I crazy?
I LOVE THIS SONG!
ADRIENNE: EUREKA’S SPLITS!!!!
JEREMY: AMAZING...and across the dang stage… and then AGAIN.
Who is going home? I don’t even know what’s happening anymore.
ADRIENNE: SHANTAY YOU STAY -- I got chills and I’m mad about it. Eureka needs to be the first big girl to win the whole thing.I can’t believe no big girl has one yet. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AMERICA, BEAUTY IN ALL SIZES!
JEREMY: OK. I’m crying. I need a hot bath. That really put me through it.