WE'RE TALKING ABOUT LAST NIGHT'S DRAG RACE
ADRIENNE: Whew, lordy, last week’s drag race was so good. THAT FISH MASK THO. I love a damn Rusical so I’m excited to see what’s gonna happen tonight. AND ANDREW RANNELLS IS MY FUCKING EVERY DAMN THING.
JEREMY: Lord Jesus. THAT FISH MASK. I loved last week but Imma say it again … VIXEN GOTTA GET OFF MY TEE VEE. omg. I just remembered it's gonna be a night CHER LOVE. Not to repeat last week but you know I met Cher, right? I’ve covered that? Because. In case you didn’t know. I met Cher. We should definitely post that pic.
ADRIENNE: I know you did, boo! Post the picture!! Cher level unlocked! Let’s get into the workroom because Vixen can barely stand after everyone burnt her to the ground. This ain’t gonna be pretty.
JEREMY: Whew. That replay of last week was hard to watch. JK. She deserved all those invites to get on a plane back to Chicago.
ADRIENNE: Ummmmm Asia O’Hara peeling that damn fish face off hahahahhahaha
JEREMY: LOL. WHILEEE having a fully realized conversation. That’s the mark of a professional.
ADRIENNE: The Vixen says the heauxs attacked her dream. GIRL. Let me tell you, the world has been beating down my dreams for 38 years, WELCOME TO IT.
JEREMY: Is Vixen maybe a little delusional? She's certainly not very self aware. What was her dream? The only dream I saw last week was for her to be in the bottom with that Blue Ivy mess.
ADRIENNE: Monet X Change says she should’ve won Snatch Game and I will live for her Maya Angelou for the rest of my life so I can’t disagree. Except Aquaria’s oil slick mermaid is still one fo the best lewks of all time IMO.
JEREMY: I can’t lie. I’m with Monet X Change on this. I thought she was gonna win too, and I was surprised Aquaria won? True that oil slick hair thing was pretty rad, but I can’t even tell you right now who Aquaria was in Snatch Game. BUT IM OLD. I don’t know I got to this couch or what I’m even talking about anymore.
ADRIENNE: AQUARIA WAS MELANIA GIRL AND IT WAS EPIC.
LIVING FOR RU’S SUIT. God, I love him so much. That open 70’s collar. That shiny purple. This shit is heaven. And she’s going to beat the shit out of everybody?? This season is lit.
JEREMY: You're always loving his suits. OMG I LOVE A FAKE SLAP. This challenge is silly AF, but it's gonna be funny. The girls have to say some sassy shit and get Ru to slap them and whoever has the best reaction wins. LOLOL. YAYYY CAMMMMP.
ADRIENNE: Shouldn’t it be Grandmo----- SLAP hahahahahaha I’m dead RIGGA MORRIS
JEREMY: That one was good. I hope they trained for this stuff, it’s kinda hard to do a fake slap. I had to do that shit in Acting School. It ain’t easy.
JEREMY: You know it’a always funny. Except when The Vixen does it. She deserves a slap for making it not funny for the first time.
ADRIENNE: OMG slapping the shit outta Asia OHara! I’m having so much fun. This is like classic Drag Race goodness.
JEREMY: I just had to pause the show because I laughed so hard I peed my pants. That is now one of the all time best moments in RPDR. End of story.
ADRIENNE: Jeremy, I know you’re a big Cher fan, what do you love about her?
JEREMY: OHNOW you wanna talk abot Cher. lol. Everything. I fell in love after the movie Moonstruck, and when I was a kid I watched the movie Mask like nine zillion times. Also her music is pretty rad and fun. She’s a badass. I love her spirit. Everything about her. Also when I met her she had a cool calm mom energy. She looked me right in the eyes and then she told me she loved my jacket and … like … what else do you want from a Cher meet and greet than for Cher to tell you she likes what you’re wearing.
ADRIENNE: I love Mermaids Cher with my favorite, Winona Ryder.
JEREMY: ALSO GOOD. I haven’t seen that in forever, I’m adding it to my list. Whew girl. It's critique time. How do you even prepare for something like this?
ADRIENNE: Ruh roh, Asia O’Hara’s critique is not going great. “I’m literally Moonstruck.” HAhahahahaha, am I drunk, because I LOVE these fools tonight.
JEREMY: SCREAMING. Asia is one of my faves. Also … Kamron is really hot, right? It’s confusing, ‘cause her drag is like aiiiiight.
ADRIENNE: IS RU WEARING AN ITALIAN HORN NECKLACE?
JEREMY: I don’t even know what that means, so probably. Lol OMG. Ru just gave the best advice. WHATEVER YOU EXCEL AT … FUCKING APPLY IT TO EVERYTHING. Somebody tattoo that on my eyelids. Thanks.
GIRL, that is amazing advice. I seriously love Ru. Also
“Apparently I don’t have a friend here.” -The Vixen
JEREMY: Well, there’s something she has said I agree with. She’s so contentious talking to Ru in her critique session. I don’t understand when people are not aware of themselves. AND SHIT. Ru is giving her therapy … “You can fight, but ultimately in this life, the biggest fight you have is with yourself. You have to dive in and see what the root cause of that conflict is.”
PRAISE HANDS EMOJI
!!! Rehearsal time!!
ADRIENNE: Todrick! Todrick! I love him so much. My kid and I listen to LOW on the way to school at least three times a week.
JEREMY: LOL. I love him but what she wearing tho?
ADRIENNE: HOLY SHIT KAMERAN’S SINGING. She sounds like she took Ru’s Elvis commentary way too seriously.
JEREMY: Call 911 my eyeballs just fell out of my head. Uhhhh ... surely they're editing this to make it look like garbage? Because...
ADRIENNE: Lol the Vixen. I love when the rehearsals are just terrible.
JEREMY: It’s SOOOOOOOOO terrible though. I’m so anxious. IM SO UNCOMFORTABLE RIGHT NOW. WHAT IS THIS MESS.
ADRIENNE: Sorry I don’t have a lot to say about this rehearsal and getting ready moments, So say somethin funny, Jeremy. lol
JEREMY: I’m too anxious to be funny. BUT. Monet just said NO I DO NOT SEE CHER, I SEE DENNIS RODMAN, GIRL talking about The Vixen and I died. These getting ready moments are hard because they turn up the BACK TO SCHOOL SPECIAL vibe and I can't.
ADRIENNE: I’m also like, uh whatever with this Vixen come to Jesus moment. It’s nice to see a softer side to Vixen I guess.
JEREMY: Whatever. She has me all the way dead on the inside. OMG. I did you see that commercial for the Cher musical during the commercial break? Yes I’m going. Yes I already have tickets.
ADRIENNE: Is there anyone cuter than Andrew Rannells? I just love him so much. I also love Billy Eichner, so we’re really living our best life right now.
JEREMY: The cutest. Girl. I saw him in Hamilton. He’s so GD cute AND TALLLLLL and also like … built, which I wasn’t expecting. OK OK OK FOCUS.
CHER THE UNAUTHORIZED RUSICAL
ADRIENNE: I’m really trying to take this all in. Wow. LOL what is happening. I mean so far I’ve seen better Halloween Cher moments on drunken sorority girls than this? And THESE VOICES.
JEREMY: Monet X Change. Monet X Change. Monet X Change. Not totally Cher, but I’m super into it. Her vibe is so right.
ADRIENNE: of course I think Eureka looks great and is a lot of fun. ALL DAT ASS. Granted she got the most iconic outfit, but she’s the first that I was like, yeah, that’s Cher.
JEREMY: She’s so nervous! ...but yeah she might be the first girl to really get it.
ADRIENNE: Miz Cracker’s nasal voice is good!
JEREMY: She’s so funny and I can’t help it she’s cute AF.
ADRIENNE: Look, I love tattoos. BUt I do find Kameran’s tattoos distracting from her lewks. I also sorta find myself wondering what she’s still doing here, she doesn’t offer that much. Except when Eureka said she wanted to fuck her.
JEREMY: YEAHHHHH … the tattoos are distracting and I really am confused as to why she’s there … but she can get it. He’s so cute. The drag needs some work tho.
ADRIENNE: Loving Monet’s body positive moment.
JEREMY: LOVE. ass ass asssss.
ADRIENNE: I like Vixen’s wig.
JEREMY: She had a killer wig last week too, but I still hate her ass. Last week she had cardboard tits and now she’s in a full on cardboard dress craft project. I mean it’s not ugly but that shit is made of paper.
ADRIENNE: HOLY SHIT AQUARIA’S READY FOR THE MET BALL!! This girl fucking slays every runway.
JEREMY: 100% MET GALA REALNESS.
ADRIENNE: I love Asia’s clown outfit and her funny little rugrats hair.
JEREMY: THIS SPARKLY BLACK CLOWN IS AMAZING. Thank goodness because I’m worried for her this week with that messy Cher performance.
ADRIENNE: I feel like Eureka is giving me Divine Eleganza and I like it.
JEREMY: FAINTS. ITS SO SPARKLY I LOVE ITTTT.
ADRIENNE: Why does Mz Cracker have a vomiting skull on her? It’s weird.
JEREMY: I don’t get it? She’s so jerky on the runway … like always? It’s weird.
JEREMY: I feel it’s important to mention THIS SHOW IS TOO LONG. I gotta get my bath before bed. I love it but likeeeeee …. END IT. NINETY MINUTES? Who has this kind of time. LOL ... clearly we do ... because I'm never missing it ever.
ADRIENNE: Girl yes, all my earlier fire has faded and I’m like, how can they be loving Kameran Michaels. Snooze, sorry bout it. Also, I love Aquaria, sorry bout it.
JEREMY: Uhhh. Yeah. I think Andrew and Billy were like … I WANT THIS DUDE TO FUCK ME and lost all of their damned brains. She's aiiiiiight.
ADRIENNE: Listen. I just want to see Andrew Rannells do Cher. Let my boy sing!
JEREMY: He can do whatever he wants.
ADRIENNE: I cannot believe Kameran is the winner? Is this just indicative of the snooze that was Cher the Unauthorized Rusical? And this Aquaria fake out is stoooopid. Obviously Aquaria is staying. I have a feeling we’re gonna get stuck with The Vixen for another week. You?
JEREMY: I love everybody but these singing musical things are kinda garbage. Lol. Who should have won if not Kameron? Eureka maybe? ...but that might make these other girls cut her. AND YEAH ... how are you gonna get down to the last three and pretend you're mad at Aquaria? She's ready for the GD Met Ball. That was just silly. So we've got Asia and Vixen in the bottom to fight for their lives. I agree with these choices. Asia was sleep walking through that Cher business and her runway was killer but it wasn't enough to save her. The Vixen, well ... her attitude has been SHIT this whole 90 minutes so ... ENJOY THE BOTTOM. Asia better eat this girl’s face. She already gave her ass therapy, so she better kill this bish.
ADRIENNE: I love DeeLite 4 ever. Asia is such a cute little dancer. Sorry, Vixen. I hope she finds something to smile about soon. It won’t be the weather in Chicago hahahahhaaha.
JEREMY: LOVE THIS SONG. Asia is killing it. I feel for Vixen, but byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
ADRIENNE: OK, who are our frontrunners? Eureka, Aquaria, and….?
JEREMY: Hmmmmm … Eureka, Aquaria … FO SHO … then either Asia or Monet? I love everyone left I don’t know what I’m gonna do next week. Probably eat my couch.
ADRIENNE: I haven’t said this in a minute, so I’mma do it now. BRING BACK SANTINO