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Hi.

Our thumbs are basically numb from texting back and forth 24/7 about everything we love (AND HATE) that's happening on our televisions, iPads, and eye glasses (hi, we think we're funny) and we thought WHY NOT SHARE THIS JOY WITH THE WORLD?!  

MAKE AMERICA GEMINI AGAIN: THE KANYE & DONALD STORY

MAKE AMERICA GEMINI AGAIN: THE KANYE & DONALD STORY

It is a known fact that Geminis (in particular, June Geminis) are crazy. Gemini is represented by the twins, and so all poor Geminis have two people (or more) living inside of them. Gemini is also a mutable sign, which means that Geminis are in love with change, with the whirlwind, with never being tied down. Geminis are liars—but are they really? Maybe one half of them really believes that what he or she is saying is true.

My department head (and the college’s senior astrologer) is a May Gemini, and even he admits that June Geminis are crazier than a shithouse rat. I’ve been pondering the June Gemini recently, as Kanye West (known genius) and Donald J. Trump (known terrible president/person/businessman) have struck up a seemingly unusual friendship, mostly over Twitter. On the surface, a friendship between Kanye “George Bush doesn’t care about black people” West and Donald “Grab them by the pussy” Trump is crazy. What could an outspoken rapper and a short-fingered vulgarian have in common, other than a love of Twitter rants and craziness? To be honest, a love of Twitter rants and craziness is probably enough to bond these two. They both love the spotlight, they share presidential aspirations, and they understand (kind of) how to control the news cycle with selectively displayed insanity.

Seems simple enough. They are two people who play the role of celebrity, who embrace it fully. Not for nothing, but Kanye pined for Kim Kardashian years before he kaught her, and if the idea of “celebrity” were to be personified, it would basically be Kim Kardashian. (I’m thinking of this in an “American Gods” sort of way, so just go with me.)

Underneath, though, they are bonded in other ways. According to The Secret Language of Birthdays, Kanye, born June 8, 1977, is the “Influential Individual.” This birthday is focused on family, but the writer says: “However, the more talented June 8 people are, the more eccentric and idiosyncratic they can be. Their mental balance can be precarious due to their sensitive ego and the rarefied world they inhabit.” DOES THIS RING TRUE? Why, yes, it does. Dudes, I’m reading this right now and I could basically just copy and paste the whole thing. It is Kanye to a tee. Highlights include:

  • Does not consider consequences

  • Is not diplomatic

  • If talented, must withdraw from the world on occasion

  • Is judgemental, even when they are totally crazy

Let’s look at The Donald, born June 14, 1946. Again, according to The Secret Language of Birthdays, this day is known as the day of “Gutsy Confrontation.” Here’s Don’s key passage: “The men may be no less strong, but tend to have an egotistical and dictatorial streak which can create conflict for them with others. Less evolved June 14 men are capable of clever duplicity.” Aside from the clever part, winner winner chicken dinner. This birthday also:

  • Is tough, goal oriented, and family first always

  • Makes a bad enemy and loves revenge

  • Has many difficulties and challenges, yet somehow manages them

  • Is intensely competitive and loves winning

  • Is terrified of being confined (hence the “Lock her up” chants, perhaps?)

The Secret Language of Birthdays also delves into relationships. When one types these two birthdays in, the result is summed up in six keywords:

LIVELY METICULOUS EXPANSIVE

UNSTABLE JUDGEMENTAL UNCONTROLLED

This pairing is ideal for work but problematic for friendship. That seems like a poor omen. It states: “As a result, Week of New Language (Kanye) persons may see those born during the Week of the Seeker (Trump) as a bit rash, uncontrolled and insufficiently thoughtful, and in return may find that their partner thinks of them as all talk, no action.” Both days like making a good presentation, having everything perfect on the surface. Apparently, they could have a lot sexual chemistry, but they can easily slide into imbalance.

But let’s call it like it is: Kanye revels in being iconoclastic. “As soon as they like you/Make ‘em unlike you” he raps in “I Am a God.” (Along with one of my favorite Kanye lyrics ever “In a French-ass restaurant/Hurry up with my damn croissants.”) He loves Trump right now because that is a crazy thing for him to do. His former mentor/big brother figure, Jay-Z has publicly sparred with Trump, and I’m not saying that Kanye is doing this to piss off Jay-Z, but he might be. Kanye understands, as Trump does, that to be controversial is to be talked about. And both men love being talked about.

So I’m not surprised by Kanye’s Trump praising, nor his courting of the right. It’s just another way to get attention. As a fan, though, it makes my heart sad. Kanye doesn’t seem to notice or care that he’s being used by the right wing as a fundraising prop, or worse yet, as “one of the good ones.” I’ve read a lot of articles on this subject, each one making me sink a little further.

Kanye sees this as a game. While he praises Trump, he also informs us that he is naming his new album Love Everyone and putting his mother’s plastic surgeon on the cover. Trump is definitely a member of Everyone. He is definitely someone a lot of us find difficult to even contemplate loving. But as Kanye acts all Yeezus about it, Trump has it in his power to make things so much worse for many people in this country. It’s not a game, and pretending that it is makes Kanye seem callous and out of touch, so isolated by fame and money from the real world that he might as well be living in a fallout shelter. ALSO let’s not forget that Obama called Kanye a jackass. I’m sure that stings, to be called a jackass by the most measured president in modern history. If Nixon calls you a jackass, that’s a mild day for him. When Obama calls you one, it means something.

(Speaking of Obama, Stephen Colbert made the argument that Obama’s merciless mocking of Trump at the 2011 White House Correspondents’ Dinner led to Trump’s presidential run. So...thanks, Obama?)

Geminis are mutable. As Kanye says in “I Am a God”

“As soon as they like you
make ‘em unlike you
Cuz kissing people’s ass is so unlike you”

He’s going to change, to shift. I predict he will come around, denounce this shit, and create a nice redemption arc in the process. The only question is will we follow him through it.

Hurry up with my damn croissants, indeed.

DRINK YOUR TEA, BISH (RHONY RECAP)

DRINK YOUR TEA, BISH (RHONY RECAP)

UNWOMEN (HANDMAID'S TALE RECAP)

UNWOMEN (HANDMAID'S TALE RECAP)