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Hi.

Our thumbs are basically numb from texting back and forth 24/7 about everything we love (AND HATE) that's happening on our televisions, iPads, and eye glasses (hi, we think we're funny) and we thought WHY NOT SHARE THIS JOY WITH THE WORLD?!  

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT LAST NIGHT'S DRAG RACE

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT LAST NIGHT'S DRAG RACE

ADRIENNE: Damn, Jeremy, this is gonna be hard because I don’t know half of these girls’ names! It’s like I’m back in sorority rush week and everybody’s talking at once and wearing too much makeup!

JEREMY: GIRL. I know! Thank god for my DVR. I had to rewind or back it up or whatever the eff kids call it these days and read those names out loud to lock it in. There are so many queens. I can’t keep up.

ADRIENNE: Honestly, I find these forced gather on the couches and talk about who was thrown under the bus and who went home blah blahs pretty annoying. More mini challenges! More pit crew! More Alyssa Edwards!

JEREMY: Yeah. Guess what I did? I FF’d right on through that pretend drama at the beginning. Could have fit the show into an hour if we had skipped that shiz. Who threw you under the bus? I did bitch. IT WAS ME. Next.

ADRIENNE: Hahahahahaha, yasss bitch! Also, I did give a big LOL at Monique with: “The Bible says what’s done in the dark will be brought to the light, mother darling. THE LIGHT IS ON.”

JEREMY: YASSS. I love how Monique takes us to church on the regular. THE LIGHT IS ONNNNNN.

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ADRIENNE: UMMM I LUUUUURVE RU’S 70’s SUIT AND TURTLENECK. Very 70’s Mondrian Thanksgiving palette realness.

JEREMY: That poor wardrobe department. They are so busy.

ADRIENNE: Jeremy, for real, what the fuck is the square thing Miz Cracker puts on her damn head?

JEREMY: She loves that shit. She’s worn that before, right? Guess what I don't love? CRACKERS.

ADRIENNE: She bobbleheaded that shit down the runway before. It's like a hair covered...cracker But I love Ru taking a page out of Tyra’s book and taking the mini challenge pictures her damn self. Noted fashion photographer Nigel Barker. I mean Tyra Banks, I mean RuPaul.

JEREMY: LOL. You know. I wanted to hate this mini-challenge and this quick drag junk. BUT. It was so funny.

ADRIENNE: Eureka in the splits! I like Eureka. She’s such a drama queen tho.

JEREMY: !!! The splits! I screamed.

ADRIENNE: LOL at Dusty Ray Bottoms photo bomb with Oprah and her students LOL. Also, Aquaria looks pretty fucking amazing for quick drag. You know I love a blonde bang, girl.

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JEREMY: Aquaria won with her picking up poo situation? I mean I guess so. Ohhhhh though. Aquaria was on RHONY last night. For like 3 seconds but she sho was up in Sonja’s Gay Wednesdays Party. LOL. What a dummy.  It shoulda been Monique with the Jonas Brothers ball grab. DING DING DING … I have an announcement. Monique is my favorite. Though they were all really funny. No bombs in the bunch. I loved it. I wish some of these bigger challenges were this fun.

ADRIENNE: DUDE! I thought you were just kidding in your RHONY recap about Aquaria! Now I'm officially dead and don't know why we don't live in New York. It's like the whole world is happening there and we're here where it snows in Chicago in April.

JEREMY: I would never lie to you. Uhhhh ... get me a job in NYC and I am there. Though it has been snowin' there too lately. WHAT A MESS.

ADRIENNE: Why’s everyone so surprised by these categories -- we know they’re prepped before they come with possible runways. WAIT, ARE THEY MAKING ALL THREE OUTFITS?? PROJECT RUNWAY THE HOUSE DOWN.

JEREMY: Yeah. This was totally an unconventional challenge on RuPaul’s Project Runway … I mean KINDA.

ADRIENNE: I mean, I really want to know what the parameters are here, because clearly some bitches came with some shit already made / planned? And other girls are glueing pom poms on swimsuits? WHAT IS HAPPENING. I do love the random calls of VANNNNGIE. 

JEREMY: VANGIE! It just never gets old. We stopped it and watched that like 4 times, we’re obsessed.

ADRIENNE: This feels like an old school challenge, and i like it. I love when they have to make lewks.

JEREMY: SO MUCH RUNWAYYY

ADRIENNE: Blair St Claire is a little cutie and i love her too.

JEREMY: I fell in love with her tonight. Her reading Dusty Bottoms for her … panties and a corset with shit glued to it … is THE BESSST. Ru talks to her and says she looks like an all American boy like from a story book, which is so real.  He likes that he’s maybe a little underestimated. Girl, I love an underestimated moment. Surprise these bitches. Snatch some wigs, baby. She’s growing on me.

ALSO! Lol When Ru talks to Vixen and get the story about Vixen’s grandma writing her name on a piece of paper and he had to trace it with a needle and thread LOL! Ru says, “That’s a great skill to learn . . . TO MAKE YOUR KID GAY.” I was yelling at the TV it was so funny.

ADRIENNE: That shit was hilarious! I'm gonna get my kid started on embroidery like NOW.

Monet’s accent drama is upsetting. (That is Monet, right?)

JEREMY: I loved this mess. It cracked me up. She’s right. BUT LIKE. It’s about the origin of the Southern Accent. She messed up what she was saying. The Brits used to sound a bit like Southerners. It’s a very aristocratic sound that these southern bitches have, like the real monied southerners … think about it. I think it makes sense. And also I’ve heard this from teachers in voice classes and shit, so….

ADRIENNE: UM NO.

ALSO, WHAT THE FUCK IS RU WEARING.

Like really what the fuck? Please explain it to me? I need to get up close to looks at it. Is it paint? Is it a sticker? Is it wallpaper? What’s happening?

JEREMY: It’s a plastic bag. Like for real. She turned to the side once too hard and I was like THIS BITCH GOT A PLASTIC BAG ON HER HEAD. lol. Whatever girl. She got a Hollywood Star on the Walk of Fame … she can get as crazy as she wants now. Also? I really want to see the tape of her climbing down from the stage with that mask she’s wearing and that tight ass dress. I bet that took 45 minutes to make those two steps.

ALASKA SWIMSUIT REALNESS

ADRIENNE: Tisha Campbell’s banana boobs! Why are her nipples tucked into her armpits?

JEREMY: LOL Here’s how old I am. I thought I forgot one of the queen’s names. I was like SHIT who is this bitch. OH ITS A JUDGE IM DUMB.

ADRIENNE: Love Eureka’s swimsuit.

JEREMY: Eureka is one of my faves. I love her. I’m so glad she got to come back. Also follow her on Insta right this minute. She’s adorable.

ADRIENNE: JUST DID.

Also, do you watch Orange is the New Black? Because Kameran Michaels looks like the corporate prison boss lady who bones the warden.

JEREMY: Every time they say Kameran Michaels I get the shakes … I think it’s PTSD from Morgan McMichaels coming back on All Stars this winter. Their names are too similar. I can’t. Also. Orange is the New Black needs to die. That show is a mess. I haven’t watched in two seasons.

ADRIENNE: Totally into Aquaria’s Mexican wrestler swimsuit and swinging hair. Loved when she accidentally bopped herself in the face with it but kept that shit FIERCE.

JEREMY: Ughhh. I really wanted to hate Aquaria, she’s such a snot, but she’s doing a crazy good job. ALSO? Blair St. Clair! She is killlllllling it with these 1940s Barbie looks.

ADRIENNE: Asia’s pom pom swimsuit is a damn mess. If she's the sew/craft queen we're in trouble.

JEREMY: SUCH A MESS and why was she coughing out balls? AND AND AND? Ms. Cracker? Not into it. She’s all jerky and weird.

MIAMI SUMMER REALNESS

ADRIENNE: KAMERAN MICHAELS FACE LOOKS LIKE SHE’S THE KING OF THE WHITE WALKERS.

JEREMY: Yeah. Her looks tonight were sorta interesting but also I was scairt of her.

ADRIENNE: Again I’m into Aquaria’s lewk. Love that my little pony hair.

JEREMY: That Beyonce hair flip thing. I mean I guess.

ADRIENNE: Miz Cracker seems nice but I like I don’t love her lewks much.

JEREMY: Yeah. I’m not a super fan.

MARTIAN ELEGANZA

ADRIENNE: I liked all of Eureka’s lewks, I hope she gets some props.

JEREMY: She’s so dang fun.

ADRIENNE: Loving Aquaria again. She’s slaying this runway. Also, PLANET GLITTERIS - nice one Ross! Blair’s face is so pretty when she’s painted.

JEREMY: RUNWAY FATIGUE RUNWAY FATIGUE RUNWAY FATIGUE

JUDGING

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ADRIENNE: If Aquaria doesn’t win I’m dead. Her lewks were fucking amazing. Usually I like a comedy queen, but a fashion queen gagging me with her lewks is also the bomb dot com.

JEREMY: Yeah. She did kill it tonight. Something about her bothers me though. Her interviews are a little bitchy, but I guess these bitches are drag queens what am I expecting.

ADRIENNE: Yeah, dude, they're not like sales associates at The Gap.

JEREMY: WAIT. Was that a READ, bitch? LOL

LIP SYNC

ADRIENNE: I’m ready to say bye bye to Dusty.

JEREMY: Yeah. She just isn’t as pulled together as the other girls. I found her story about growing up interesting last week and that really got me feeling for her … but … she’s not there yet. She needs a minute to get solid.

ADRIENNE: OMG why is Dusty dancing like she’s been electrocuted? Bye, girl, bye.

JEREMY: That look was a mess. Girl, you a fairy. Fly on home. Monet is KILLLLING this lipsync. Especially with that fake out death drop thing she did and using her gas mask as a prop. That was crazy good. She had Ru slapping the table and laughing.

ADRIENNE: I fucking love when Ru is tickled by something. That was great.

JEREMY: Ru calls it out and tells the ladies in the back … That’s what we call a lip sync for your life. It really was a good one, they were not messing around. I even thought for a minute she might keep them both. Wonder what we’re gonna get next week?

ADRIENNE: This overall was a very satisfying episode. It felt like old school drag race. Classic drag race. 

JEREMY: Did Dusty try to have a Vangie moment at the end? What did she say? NAH, GIRL. TRY AGAIN.

VANGIE

WE READ ABOUT BRAD PITT'S NEW GIRLFRIEND SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO

WE READ ABOUT BRAD PITT'S NEW GIRLFRIEND SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO

HERE'S TO THE LADIES WHO LUNCH (RHONY RECAP)

HERE'S TO THE LADIES WHO LUNCH (RHONY RECAP)