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Hi.

Our thumbs are basically numb from texting back and forth 24/7 about everything we love (AND HATE) that's happening on our televisions, iPads, and eye glasses (hi, we think we're funny) and we thought WHY NOT SHARE THIS JOY WITH THE WORLD?!  

MAKE YOUR OWN TROOP BEVERLY HILLS COSTUME

MAKE YOUR OWN TROOP BEVERLY HILLS COSTUME

It's never too early to start thinking about Halloween. And I'm not just saying that — I truly believe

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The HEAUXS 1 year anniversary party theme was Pop Culture Celebrity Realness and I knew immediately I wanted to be Phyllis Nefler, queen of the best movie of all time, Troop Beverly Hills. You can make this costume too and, in fact you should, because it SLAYED. And do it even better than me — get yourself a troop, some Red Feathers, and a Velda for a full TBH experience.

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THE DRESS

I started looking for the perfect dress in advance and found this little number on eBay because I may be a beginner at some things, but I've got a black belt in shopping! (That was a Phyllis reference. It's important to stay in character mmkay?)

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I loved this dress because it had an 80's vibe to it, shoulder pads, and was like a grown up sexy version of a military-inspired khaki dress. It just screamed Phyllis to me and I definitely texted my friends about the wonders of the internet after I purchased it for $25. I had high hopes it would be perfect.

But because a wilderness girl can never be too prepared, I also bought this Banana Republic number on Poshmark for twenty bucks in case my eBay wonder didn't fit or looked weird. If you search for Phyllis costumes on ye olde google, this is the sort of dress the gals are wearing because it's realtively easy to find. Personally I think this is a troop member or a red feather dress more than Queen Phyllis, but you do you.

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When my eBay dress came, it was a little too tight and I was sad because otherwise it was perfect. But then I realized I could either a) stop eating or b) take that shit to the tailor and have her move the damn buttons over an inch! I also had her take the hem up a couple inches for a more modern Phyllis lewk.

Then I got crafty as shit.

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I went to Joann's and picked up some green ribbon, some light khaki thread, and my first little adorable sewing kit and started hand sewing green piping all over the dress while watching HBO.

THE HAT

This style of hat is called a Garrison cap and they're hard to find on the internet in khaki, even once you know their name. I have no idea why that is. So I made a special trip over to the Army Navy store and asked for one and the nice gentleman there hooked me up with this little beaut for $5.

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I sewed the green piping all over it and then added some pheasant feathers I got at Joann's with hot glue for that BEVERLY HILLS FLAIR.

HAIR

I gotta tell you, when I was doing my research, like Troop Beverly Hills costume people were not taking Phyllis' hair seriously enough at all. Now my friends will tell you, I'm a spazz about my hair. But so is Phyllis, girl! How you gonna say you're Phyllis with your regular hair? There's an entire story line about it:

"It was a cold and rainy day in March. I went to Kristoff's where I usually get my hair done but Kristoff wasn't there. He had mysteriously disappeared. In his place was a stranger named Rinaldo. I'll never forget him. His eyes were steely gray. His hands were like ice. He said, 'I'll streak your hair and I'll give you a body wave.' He worked very fast and then, as he turned my chair around to face the mirror, I saw it. He permed me!"

Phyllis' big red hair is her thing — GET YOU A WIG.

I found mine on amazon.

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When the wig arrived it looked crazy as hell and the bangs were three feet long. So I put the wig on this Frankenstein head my kid had and cut those bangs to size. And I felt like a fabulous drag queen while doing it. I had considered some other wigs with a more refined curl but ultimately I'm happy I went with this one because it's perfect for a costume — you don't want to look like an imitation, you want to look like you're fun and humorous and this frizzy red is very Phyllis Frazzled in the Woods. Also bangs are a must and remember, Phyllis is more orange than red.

ACCESORIES

Girl, the internet tho! It has everything. Over at Etsy I got some fly Troop Beverly Hills pins for my hat and lapel.

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Phyllis always jazzes up an outfit with a tie and a belt, I got mine on amazon.

Now you can add a Louis Vuitton, a cigarette at the end of a holder, jewels, cookies, a walking stick, whatever you want! I wore nude fishnets for some extra pizzazz, threw on a pair of heels, and did The Freddie ALL NIGHT LONG!

But what about the rest of your troop and Velda? Here's my advice. Get those Banana Republic / J Crew khaki dresses. The girls wear green berets and hunter green silk kerchiefs that you can make with fabric from Joann's. You'll need red feathers for your enemies and Velda wears an adult lewk like Phyllis, but more like a shapeless trench coat with a scowl, a rule book, and ugly shoes.  

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Here I'm showing off my lewk with Heauxs editor Elizabeth Gomez (Dolly Parton) and contributor Zane Biebelle (Handmaid). Wanna know how they made their lewks? I mean, I don't know, ask them! But if you make a Phyllis costume, we want to see it! Email us at heauxsmag@gmail.com

PAPA GOD (RHOBH RECAP)

PAPA GOD (RHOBH RECAP)

10 BACHELOR MOMENTS THAT STAINED PERU'S REPUTATION: CUSCO EDITION

10 BACHELOR MOMENTS THAT STAINED PERU'S REPUTATION: CUSCO EDITION