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Hi.

Our thumbs are basically numb from texting back and forth 24/7 about everything we love (AND HATE) that's happening on our televisions, iPads, and eye glasses (hi, we think we're funny) and we thought WHY NOT SHARE THIS JOY WITH THE WORLD?!  

NOOM DAY 5: CHEAP DATE

NOOM DAY 5: CHEAP DATE

I’m five pounds down.

This is the first real progress I’ve seen since I gained all of the weight back after I stopped pumping well over two years ago. Even though I joined a gym in September and bought an exercise bike in December.

I get it, Noom. Weighing in and logging all of your food everyday works. (For some of us who are in an insane frame of mind that may or may not last.)

Meal Log:

  • Breakfast: Homemade granola bar

  • Breakfast snack: Fruit snacks

  • Lunch: Salad

  • Lunch snack: Protein shake

  • Dinner: 4 small squares of cheese pizza and 2 ½ glasses of pinot noir

Dude, a restaurant down the street from me has a medium pizza and bottle of wine deal for $25, so I went with my kid and best gal pal last minute.

Hello drunk after half a bottle of wine. Not shocking, but pretty funny? On our way home, my kid kept putting a rock in front of me to kick and I fell down. It was hilarious for all involved.

After talking a bit more with my coach, I’ve realized I need a tasty late afternoon snack to get over the hump. The chocolate banana $6 protein shake from Protein Bar was delicious, but I can’t keep that up financially.

I’m hoping someone wants to buy me a nice birthday gift this year in the way of a Ninja blender so I can make these bad boys at home.

In the meantime, my $18 popcorn popper has arrived and I’m looking forward to taking it for a spin. I’m also considering making a huge bag to take with me to see Black Panther on Monday. I KNOW, I STILL HAVEN’T SEEN IT OK I’VE BEEN BUSY DIETING AND NOT LIVING LIFE.

A friend sent some truth telling texts about their experience that I really needed. Also, it’s just nice to commiserate in a way that admits this is hard but is still encouraging and positive.

Do you know what Hell is? The Stairmaster. Like, having to just walk up stairs for half an hour is one of the most grueling things I’ve done in a long time. I thought it would be a better alternative to jogging, since my legs are still sore from Tuesday. Even though it was torture, it felt good to do 100 flights and burn over 300 calories.

Then Noom let me know it only counts HALF of your exercise calories so you maintain a deficit and I wanted to scream, but mostly because it makes sense.

I think the brainwashing is setting in.

NOOM DAY 6: OK, FINE

NOOM DAY 6: OK, FINE

AMERICA, WE HAVE ISSUES (THIS IS US FINALE RECAP)

AMERICA, WE HAVE ISSUES (THIS IS US FINALE RECAP)