NOOM DAY 2: SMUG AND STARVING
I woke up and weighed myself.
I am down 2.4 pounds.
It is obviously bullshit, as I weighed myself in the afternoon yesterday and then again this morning.
Still, it kept me motivated today.
Ugh, I hate when other people re: weight loss apps are right.
It is 8:45 pm and I’m so very very very hungry, but I hit the “Finish” button for my meal logging and I’ve brushed my teeth.
I consumed 1,081 calories today and earned an additional 300 or so from biking.
Here’s my sad, sad log:
Breakfast: ¾ cup of nonfat Greek Yogurt with ¼ cup of blueberries and 5 small strawberries
Breakfast snack: Homemade granola bar
Lunch: Four scrambled egg whites (in cooking spray) with ⅛ cup of cheddar cheese and Cholula wrapped in two corn tortillas
Lunch snack: 1 cup of black bean and red quinoa soup
Dinner: 2 cups tofu and vegetable stirfry with soba noodles
(Water, two cups of caffeine free tea, one and a half flavored seltzer waters)
I also attempted to do a few circuits of Kayla Itsines 28 minute workout and after six or seven exercises, gave up.
I’m actually looking forward to talking to my “group coach” tomorrow, the white lady in North Carolina, so I can ask her how in the hell I’m going to survive three planned meals out when they’re supposed to be celebratory and I’m not one for holding back.
Seriously, I’ve already started to think about how I can eat next to nothing and workout those days so I can just fucking enjoy myself.
This is no way to live. Honestly.
However, I’m very aware that after some time, my stomach will shrink and suddenly these calorie deficient meals won’t seem SO empty feeling.
That’s the thing with me, though. I’m all or nothing. I’m extreme. I’m either Eating It All and not working out or I’m Eating Nothing and trying to workout all of the damn time.
There is no happy medium. No “balance.” I don’t do moderation. No permanent lifestyle changes, as all of these diets are touting nowadays.
Hence the reason I’ve never been able to keep the weight off the few times I’ve actually been successful.
I was really hating the green/yellow/red food level system, but the competitive side of me wants to eat more green and less red, which is, like, the point?
Then again, I’ve cut out actual nutrition, like the yolks of eggs and a little good old fashioned butter which I swapped for silicone based cooking spray all in the name of a few extra calories.
I’m mega bummed to know the calorie count for most of the foods I eat, as it’s proof I’m a walking talking chart that knows exactly how many almonds is too many almonds.
What could I have achieved if I hadn’t spent so much time living and breathing this crap???
What could we ALL be achieving right now if we didn’t spend even one more second thinking about dieting?
I’m not doing this for health reasons. Actually, I was right before this. I was intentionally looking into “whole” food “dieting” to relieve what I believe may be PMDD and at the very least see if there was a link to eating better and improved mental health.
Not counting calories in exchange for cutting out extra sugar and processed foods was a dream compared to this.
But that’s all been derailed to eat 1,200 calories any way possible, all to get to “X” weight and “X” size.
Of course I’m interested in the psychology of triggers and how to cope and changing bad behaviors, but I’m also all about McDonald’s breakfast.