THINGS WE LOVE ABOUT THE OLYMPICS: WHITE TIGERS AND JOHNNY WEIR EDITION
If you’re looking for in-depth coverage of the main Olympic events and the beginning of Adam Rippon’s presidential bid, you’ve come to the wrong place. There is plenty of internet for that. This is the place for those magical moments that may have fallen through the cracks of more discerning media outlets. Here are some of my favorite things from the first half of the Olympics.
Tigers Are Better Than Flowers
You may have noticed that medal winners get a white tiger plushie souvenir for their efforts before the official medal ceremony. Traditionally, athletes have gotten pre-medal flowers instead of a stuffed animal. I didn’t know until this week, but a white tiger plushie is one of my spirit animals, and it’s a travesty that anyone got flowers before. Don’t get me started on trying to get a bouquet home in a suitcase. It is very precarious. Furthermore, anyone who was ever a thirteen-year-girl knows that drying flowers into a vibrant, shapely display isn’t as easy as it looks. My flowers ended up droopy and sad, and my flowers weren’t subjected to a whirlwind trip around the globe. I can tell just by looking at those plushies that they can be balled up next to toiletries and come out fine. Stronger, even. That’s the tiger spirit. Hug it hard and then smush it into a tight corner of your suitcase when you’re not hugging it.
They’re even wearing hats. Adorable, squishable hats. I’m in love.
Johnny Weir’s Outfits
If you’ve been watching any figure skating, you know that former skater and current mean girl Johnny Weir has been wearing the heck out of some fabulous clothing. It’s more than clothing; it’s a story. The story I’m picking up on is one in which Johnny shows us how the Dowager Countess from Downton Abbey might dress for different costume parties. For instance, here’s Johnny as the Dowager Countess as Elvis:
And here’s Johnny as the Dowager Countess as a 1980’s businesswoman:
I’m not sure what to call this next look, but I do know that if I had that many rings I would think about distributing them across both hands. But I’m not a fashionista, so what do I know? Maybe using both hands is a real rookie move. Maybe I’m supposed to keep one of my hands ring-free in case I want to, I don’t know...reach into a tight jar?
Best Name Ever
Let’s talk about Ragnhild Mowinckel. She’s a medal-winning alpine skier from Norway. Say her name out loud with a mouthful of bread (at least that’s what I was eating). Does it not sound EXACTLY like “Rocky and Bullwinkle”?
Final Thought About the Endless March of Time
Do you remember that moment when you stopped rooting for the Olympic athletes who were extra young, and started rooting for the Olympic athletes who are extra old? Me too, me too. Sorry, little halfpipe whippersnappers, I’m in it for the thirty-somethings who get applauded just for making it across the finish line even though they’re distracted about their taxes. We all need a hero.