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Hi.

Our thumbs are basically numb from texting back and forth 24/7 about everything we love (AND HATE) that's happening on our televisions, iPads, and eye glasses (hi, we think we're funny) and we thought WHY NOT SHARE THIS JOY WITH THE WORLD?!  

10 GIFTS FOR PEOPLE YOU BARELY KNOW BUT HAVE TO GET SOMETHING FOR ANYWAY

10 GIFTS FOR PEOPLE YOU BARELY KNOW BUT HAVE TO GET SOMETHING FOR ANYWAY

Gift giving can be an incredibly intimate experience, a tangible indication from giver to receiver that you see them and recognize their needs.

This is not a list for those kinds of gifts.

These are gifts for the people who draw up a big beige blank in your mind. Here are some all-purpose gift options:

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1. Threshold Plaid Throw Blanket ($20)

It’s cozy season, buddy! Slipper socks are fine (and cheaper), but a good throw can be used as either a living room accessory or a living accessory. December is the patron saint of leaving your house wrapped in a blanket.


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2. Chakra Candle ($15)

I do not know a single person who doesn’t need to Chill. Out. So yeah, a set of bath bombs or skin care would do just fine. But a Chakra Candle is just specific enough to say: “I respect your hustle and support your centeredness.” Also, we’re not above the knowledge that Urban Outfitters witch bundles are a sign of consumerism and basic bitchness (in a bad way), so go to the source.


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3. Dictionary Book Safe ($13.50)

For the sneaky and well-read. Whatever stash you’re into, this Purloined Letter keeps out prying eyes and locks in secrets. Also, please note that though Amazon is currently the root of evil, anything beyond 2-day shipping in these trying times is a form of torture.


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4. Mini Balloon Dog ($18)

When I was in school in NYC there were a bunch of Jeff Koons (not to be confused with writer Jeff Koontz) sculptures on the roof of The Met (not to be confused with The Met) and this little balloon dog is so clearly a Jeff Koons knockoff that it tickles my brand name bone without putting my money where my mouth is. Also, is cute.


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5. Swiss Army Knife Keychain ($16)

A very classic brand name. When the zombie apocalypse comes, your recipient will thank you for providing them with a handy, portable weapon. Just kidding: it’s to open more Amazon boxes.


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6. Disco Ball Tumbler ($10)

WHO DOESN’T WANT TO DRINK OUT OF A DISCO BALL?

 

 


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7. Urban Map Glass ($16)

Assuming they’ve got some city pride and haven’t moved from some amaaaaaaazing city to this backwater country village, a map glass should do quite well. Also does well if your brother moved across the country and you’re trying to remind him it was a big mistake. (Hi Eli!)


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8. MojiPower Avocado Portable Power Bank ($28)

Everyone can use a little extra phone juice. Avocados are tasty and kind of cute in cartoon form, but if your recipient doesn’t like avocados, maybe it’s best to find that out now. Also, I didn’t say Urban Outfitters was entirely terrible, just the witch stuff maybe.


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9. Rocketbook Smart Notebook ($27)

That’s right. Progress meets intellectual pursuit with this notebook that can be reused. Upload the information to your phone, then erase it and start again. Good for those with a retro sense of technojoy. Shark Tank fans unite etc etc.


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10. Light Box ($15)

Flashy and eye-catching. I don’t know what people would actually write on this, but that’s not for you to figure out. Yours is to be a giver. And with this gift, you are giving the gift of potential, which most of us squandered many moons ago.

 

Happy Holidays!

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