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Hi.

Our thumbs are basically numb from texting back and forth 24/7 about everything we love (AND HATE) that's happening on our televisions, iPads, and eye glasses (hi, we think we're funny) and we thought WHY NOT SHARE THIS JOY WITH THE WORLD?!  

WHAT SINGLE PARENTS GETS WRONG ABOUT SINGLE PARENTS

WHAT SINGLE PARENTS GETS WRONG ABOUT SINGLE PARENTS

Everything.

JK. But look, it gets a lot of things wrong.

First of all, I’m of the opinion that half hour comedies are only truly successful if the very premise of the show requires the characters to interact with each other over and over again in hilarious circumstances into infinity. I love a workplace comedy! Veep - I love Veep! These crazy kooks are together because they work for Selina Meyer and she is insufferable - chaos ensues. I love it, I can get behind it because I believe it. The Office, The IT Crowd, Murphy Brown, Silicon Valley, The Good Place, etc - all of these shows give you believable reasons for these characters to show up in this world every day and say something stupid.

The other half hour comedy I can get behind is the family/friends/we all live in this place set up. Seinfeld, Roseanne, Will and Grace, Friends, The Big Bang Theory, Modern Family, Everybody Loves Raymond, New Girl. If we all live in the same apartment building or you’re my mom (or both), you’re gonna be bothering me when I get home from work and fine, chaos ensues.

So the fatal flaw for Single Parents as I see it is that no single parent has enough time to give any fucks about anything that is going on in this town/school. A kindergarten classroom is essentially a transitional place - you’re dropping your kid off and trying to get the hell out of there because single parents have SHIT TO DO. And that is not setting your ass up on dates or worrying about your mermaid duffle bag or what’s in your kid’s artisanal lunchbox. A single parent is like “That idiot cut a turkey sandwich into a snowflake,” and LEAVING FOR WORK.

And if you’re like, oh, Adrienne, you’re no fun, suspend your disbelief! Call me when this show is cancelled in five minutes because the premise is flawed as fuck.

Other reasons I rolled my dang eyes outta my dang head:

  • A bougie Californian kindergarten classroom has never ever in the history of the world seen this many single parents. (Five.) Didn’t you watch Big Little Lies? One single mom showed up and it practically blew up the entire fucking town. Get outta here with this.

  • A single dad room parent. HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

  • The single dad room parent tells the other single parents that it’s been five years since he boned and THEY ARE SHOOK. Girl, please, now I know absolutely no one on this writing staff is a single parent or has ever met a single parent. Besides the fact that this joke was hack, a real single parent would’ve been like, no the joke goes like this - he says he hasn’t been boned in five years, and the other single parent is like, the last time I has sex, Obama was president THANKS OBAMA, and then a series of rat a tat political ha ha-s ensues. Point being: single parent sex can be sporadic as fuck, ok? LET US LIVE.

  • No parents of kindergarteners would let this dude with a baby follow them around all the time. WE’RE POTTY TRAINED UP IN HERE, BRAH, MOVE ALONG.

  • The most interesting character is Brad Garrett as Douglas Fogerty, an aging dermatologist with twin daughters. I could do without the hack gangster-y nonsense where he tries to pay off everyone with folded up twenties (including the kindergarten teacher?) but his setup is the most interesting. See Douglas got himself a trophy wife (not sure why she needed to be a stripper, I mean they are in LA, aren’t there a lot of failed actresses everywhere? The stripper seems a touch misogynistic, but anywhoo) and she wanted to have a baby, so of course they have twins, and then she dies and he’s left dealing with these two girls. WOAH. It’s like 3 Men and a Baby for 2018, and I’m totally into it with like a lot of writing tweaks and better jokes.

  • Leighton Meister is not the single mom we need, but perhaps the one we deserve?

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