HOMOSEXUALS, WOMEN WITH CHILDREN...
Hey there! Remember me? I'm your best gay. No. REALLY. I AM YOUR BEST GAY. I don't care about your friend Steve that held your hand while you gave birth in high school. That is some old school turn of the century crap and I don't wanna hear about it anymore ... THAT IS IN THE PAST. ME ME ME. IT'S ME. I'M YOUR FAVORITE. Just start dealing with it now because it is a FACT, girl and we have some business to discuss right meow. I mean it. Put down that spreadsheet and pull up a chair and listen to me.
Girl, give me a damned minute I'm trying to tell you, that's the whole point of sending you this message. GAH.
I'm your favorite because I am your ... cultural attache. LOL THAT MAKES ME GIGGLE. Well, it's true! I have a responsibility as your favorite gay to tell you what is happening that these patriarchal ass hats aren't advertising to you. That would basically mean ... EVERYTHING THAT IS NOT A SUPERHERO MOVIE. Whew. When will those die already. Thanks for Wonder Woman and everything, but like ... where is Sophie's Choice TWO or like Steelier Magnolias or a movie starring Kathy Bates, Cher, Madonna, Susan Sarandon, Goldie and like ... ME. Whatver. We already saw a woman run for president, I guess we're supposed to act like we're all full up. LOL NO.
Whatever. I don't mean to get you all fired up about lady business. I'm here to tell you that the powers that be, or rather the powers that are hiding in the shadows of all of those super hero turds have decided to bring you a movie of the recently revived BROADWAY (yes all caps because I am excited) musical Falsettos.
I KNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW. NO. REALLY. I. KNOWWWWW.
They filmed the recent Broadway revival that had a limited engagement earlier this year. The cast was headed by Charlie and the Chocolate Factory two-time Tony Award winner Christian Borle (Something Rotten!, Peter and the Starcatcher) as Marvin, Tony nominee Stephanie J. Block (Wicked, Drood) as Trina, and Tony nominee Andrew Rannells (The Book of Mormon) as Whizzer, with Tracie Thoms (Rent) as Dr. Charlotte, Betsy Wolfe (The Last Five Years) as Cordelia, Tony nominee Brandon Uranowitz (An American in Paris) as Mendel, and Anthony Rosenthal (A Christmas Story) as Jason.
There are a lot of BROADWAY (ie GAYYY) words in that paragraph, are you OK? STAY WITH ME.
The story involves Marvin, his ex-wife Trina, his psychiatrist Mendel, his son Jason, his lover Whizzer Brown, and his neighbors Cordelia and Dr. Charlotte. WHAT? I know. The show premiered on Broadway in 1992 and was nominated for seven Tony Awards, of which it won Best Book of a Musical and Best Original Score. This most recent (AND ONLY BROADWAY REVIVAL SINCE 1992) was nominated for five Tony Awards. That's all I'm telling you. What I want you to know is that they filmed the revival and it's amazing and the story is a throw back to a time that we sorta don't even understand anymore ... REMEMBER AIDS? GASP.
ALSO? Our boyfriend Andrew Rannells is in it so COME TF ON. OMG. Sidebar. I saw him in Hamilton on my birthday a couple years ago and then after the show I got to go backstage because (READ THE SECRET THAT SHIT WORKS) Birthday ... and he was on stage and my husband and I basically stared at him for 20 minutes while Lin-Manuel Miranda talked to us and we drooled. END SCENE.
So. Get out your iPhone. Click on your Fandango app and get yourself to your local megaplex TONIGHT. This will not be around for long and YOU NEED THIS REAL HARD. Besides, everyone knows that homosexuals and women are the real superheros. GET IT DONE or we are never speaking again (until I FB message you about that dude we know whose life is totally going down the toilet as evidenced by his desperate status update at lunch today). Girl. You need this. DO IT. I'll be there Saturday afternoon.
PS: ALRIGHT FINE HERE'S A COMMERCIAL FOR YOU...