TAKE MY MONEY, DUDE #ROMPHIM
I love Facebook. The moment anyone sees something meant for you? Three hundred and ninety five of your closest friends and family post it all over your wall. That's how it works for me anyway. I don't know your life. But if this isn't how Facebook works for you? Let me know so I can call the police because LET SOMEBODY LOVE YOU. Gah. Please have more fun with the internet RIGHT THIS MINUTE. The Russians are OBVIOUSLY coming, so we might as well giggle for a hot minute before everything is red and we're eating borscht in our refrigerator box homes on the regular.
I'm usually inundated with Golden Girls paraphernalia. If you're a person that posts GG stuff on my wall, this is not a call to stop BTW. I love that shit more than you can possibly begin to understand. I'm not here to make you feel bad, I am here to LOVE you so settle the eff down. Golden Girls candles. Golden Girls Legos. Golden Girls coloring books. Golden Girls FILL IN THE BLANK. I LOVE IT ALLLL. While we're on the subject I should probably let you know I'd really like is a Golden Girls line of Kaftans. WAIT. Maybe I should hit up etsy right now and make that happen. OMG. I'd be the Kaftan Queen of the Midwest. WHAT A JOY. Anyway, my Facebook Fam took a break from posting pictures of Bea Arthur yesterday to make sure I had heard about (are you sitting down?) The Man Romper. Yes capitalized, THIS IS IMPORTANT SHIZ. Experts (stop laughing) are calling it the Romphim.
Oh, deep sigh. Of course they're calling it the rompHIM. Because GENDER is so important and HOW WOULD I EVEN KNOW CLOTHES WERE AVAILABLE TO ME IF IT DIDN'T HAVE MAN WORDS IN THE TITLE. Yes I am yelling. I'm also looking at my calendar to see if I can schedule enough time at lunch to stick a knife in the heart of the patriarchy after Panda Express.
As you have probably already guessed the internet lost its damned mind. A MAN ROMPER!? How on Earth could this be a thing? Why? What is happening? This is a crime against Christmas! Those are for ladies! Onsies are gross! ...and on and on and on and on and ON because the internet likes to talk to itself and be as bitchy and hateful as possible.
Oh, chill for a sec. Let's do a bit of exploring. What the hell is a romper? Admit it. YOU HAVE NO IDEA, HEAUX. You just like to bitch on the internet LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN AMERICA. The most hilarious thing I discovered when digging around is Google defines the romper as a young child's one-piece outer garment. So this isn't a gendered thing at all you freaks. IT'S CLOTHING FOR TODDLERS.
OF WHICH I AM ONE: PLEASE CONTINUE.
Some rando company launched a kickstarter recently and the internet EXPLODED with ROMPER news (excuse me RompHIM news) yesterday. Their original goal was to raise $10,000, but I just checked and they've raised $55,860. So, I think this is going to be a thing maybe? Aced Design has come up with the Romphim and they're calling it our "new favorite summer outfit." Click that link and donate immediately ... if you want to be in on the front end of something AMAZING.
Here's what. I think they're cute. What if everyone calmed the hell down and stopped hating everything for a sec. Who doesn't want to put on ONE thing in the morning? Dudes don't really get to do a thing like that. We get pants or shorts and then there's variety of shirt situations, but we definitely don't have one stop shopping as far as clothes go. Also? We don't get cute shit. I WANT SOME CUTE SHIT TO WEAR. I want patterns RIGHT NOW! Please stop reading and donate to their campaign ... what else are you gonna spend your money on, girl?
The designs I'm seeing are CUTE AF. There's a pocket, so you look sorta profesh. They come with adjustable waist tabs, because "comfort is king." OMG. They have a zippered back pocket AND a zipper fly. I'm super down with this, my dudes. ESPECIALLY if I can get this paint splattered selection OR this polka-dotted number for not one zillion American dollars. I will tell you I'm not a super fan of banded collars, so that's obnoxious. BUT. I'm totally down with this and I can't wait to own TWELVE.
I mean I have these cute legs how long is that even gonna last? I should probably get on this stat. Again. The heat death of Earth is quickly approaching. It's time to DANCE AS FAST AS I CAN. I might have to make it my own damned self unless one of you dear sweet Heauxs is a seamstress. If it's good enough for James MF Bond, it's probably good enough for my gay ass. Stay tuned.