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Hi.

Our thumbs are basically numb from texting back and forth 24/7 about everything we love (AND HATE) that's happening on our televisions, iPads, and eye glasses (hi, we think we're funny) and we thought WHY NOT SHARE THIS JOY WITH THE WORLD?!  

WE READ ABOUT SPEIDI'S BABY SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO

WE READ ABOUT SPEIDI'S BABY SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO

i curse the inventor of heart-hands with a thousand fugly pinterest projects

i curse the inventor of heart-hands with a thousand fugly pinterest projects

YOU KNOW WE'VE GOTTEN OLD AND DUSTY WHEN SPEIDI IS REPRODUCING, YA'LL. What do you remember about Speidi? It's a little fuzzy for me too, I still drank a lot of Miller Lite (on weeknights!) in 2007. So here's their entire story in 3 gifs:

LORD. 10 years later this (and Heidi's plastic surgeries!) remain Speidi's claim to fame. UNTIL NOW. Will they finally get their own reality show tracking their spawn's first months? Will Spencer change a diaper and get a little doo-doo in that beautiful blonde beard? What will they name their bouncing bundle of joy? My money's on Aidan. Or something original like Toast or Bookshelf or Breast Implant. 

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW RIGHT NOW: 

  • Heidi is 3 months along and is due October 19th. C-CROWD MISTAKE, HEAUXS. No real celebrity reveals their pregnancy before 6 months or their actual due date. I sniff some Tori & Dean levels of desperation here.
     
  • "Heidi has wanted to be a mom since the day I met her," says Pratt, who sells crystals online. You heard that right, ya'll. Just like that random girl from junior high who reconnected with you on Facebook only to start selling you Jamberry nail wraps, Spence now SELLS CRYSTALS ONLINE. PLEASE GAWD get yours for $25 here and tell me how it works out. I feel like they must have an aura of Axe body spray and credit card debt?
     
  • Just when you thought blood sausage and Brexit were the most embarrassing things to happen to the UK you find out Heidi and Spencer had to wait to have a baby until they filmed Celebrity Big Brother UK.
     
  • Heidi wants a boy so the Pratt name will continue on. WHAT! I thought Heidi was a feminist???????????? 
     
  • Their kids won't be interested in The Hills because they'll think "Why is this other girl always narrating you?"
bitch, what?

bitch, what?

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