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Hi.

Our thumbs are basically numb from texting back and forth 24/7 about everything we love (AND HATE) that's happening on our televisions, iPads, and eye glasses (hi, we think we're funny) and we thought WHY NOT SHARE THIS JOY WITH THE WORLD?!  

FANCY SHIT TO DO: TEA TIME

FANCY SHIT TO DO: TEA TIME

Girl. I know. Times is hard. They are so hard. I've been having days where getting out of bed in the morning feels like the hardest most impossible act. I mean I guess you could blame it on winter, I do live in Chicago. Though if you're anywhere near Chicago you must have noticed that even winter has given up this year. No, girl. I think we all know it's because we have a cracked-out, busted-ass, pumpkin-colored, infant for a president (lower case because fuck him). I know this is my first post ever for this new magical thing we're making, but if you're team gourd-president ... well ... I'm sure you're a very nice person but I hope you have an uncomfortably wet and noisy bowel movement this week (in the middle of that super important meeting with the board). What I am trying to say is I think it's time we got creative with our self-care.

Gross. I know. Self-care. I wish everyone would stop saying it too, but SC is exactly what we need right now. Facebook is ablaze with panicked messages, Twitter is impossible to read, I MEAN HOW MANY GD PROTESTS AND PRIVATE ROOMS CAN I BE INVITED TO JOIN IN A SINGLE AFTERNOON? I'm exhausted, and we are all starting to look like that kitten poster. Not the cute one with the kitten and dog sleeping peacefully together. No, you know the one I'm talking about. It's that wet little kitty holding on to the end of a rope. Like I said. TIMES IS HARD. So ... WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT.

Me? I'm trying to only do things I love. I'm running a lot to clear my head and get strong (ie it might help me run away from ICE when they show up at my door), I'm reading a lot to calm my nerves and stay aware of whatever new BS those punks in DC are trying to throw at us, AND I'm trying to do new fun things that have little to nothing to do with the internet like hug friends while doing activities that help me forget that the world is burning to the ground.

Last weekend I went to high tea at the Drake Hotel with girlfriends. I know, I know. What is even my life. I can't lie it ain't cheap, but it is fun af ... and right now "fun af" is on the top of my priority list. 

Don't get stressed out. High tea is just a fancy way of saying we paid for a dude to bring us a mountain of finger sammies, scones, and French pastries while sipping on English-style tea (served in China, y'all). We sat there for three hours and ate everything in sight while drinking tea and gossiping about everyone we know. It is delicious and amazing and I HIGHLY recommend doing it.

You're probably worried about ...

  1. WHAT AM I GONNA WEAR TO THE FANCY ASS DRAKE?  Yes, there is a dress code, but you don't have to wear an Oscar gown or tuxedo. I was wearing jeans (like always because if I can't wear jeans I don't wanna). Some people pretended they're British and got all gussied up, but it isn't necessary. I saw silly and fun fascinators, I saw suits, I saw dresses, I saw t-shirts. Don't let this part keep you from going.
  2. FINGER SANDWICHES ... IMMA STARVE TO DEATH! This is basically impossible. The food is unlimited. You're basically at a high end buffet. They will bring you more of whatever you want, you just have to ask. They fed me so many cucumber sandwiches I thought I was going to have to phone my doctor.
  3. TEA? I ONLY DRINK ALCOHOL. Chill out, Liza. They have a bar. I added a glass of prosecco to my tea trip (Hi. SELF CARE).
  4. DO I JUST SHOW UP? I'M SCARED HELP ME! Google Drake Hotel high tea ... and make a reservation. They'll probably laugh in your face if you don't have a reservation, and you don't need that kind of humiliation ... HAVE YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION?

Also? The room is gorgeous, so gorgeous that you will feel special and cared for and loved. There's a giant flower arrangement in the middle of the room that will probably change your life, and it's surrounded by a cute fountain. A FOUNTAIN. That's not enough for you? Well, there's a harpist. WHAT? Yep, A HARPIST. A person that knows how to play the harp, like who even knew that was a thing that happened anymore. A harpist you guys and you're gonna love it. I am serious. You don't even know how much you love harp music.

I don't know. Do what you want, but do whatever it takes to take care of yourself. Times is hard, but they ain't gotta be impossible. I can't go to high tea every week, that's why next week I'll more than likely be found with friends at the Olive Garden. BECAUSE: BALANCE.

ERMEGERD THE FANTASY SUITES

ERMEGERD THE FANTASY SUITES

MY NIGHT WITH CHANNING

MY NIGHT WITH CHANNING