STRANGER FILES AND THINGS: SWEET HOME STOCK FOOTAGE (EPISODE 7)
Oh my. Things have gotten a bit...murdery. Eleven has taken the money and run, as her badass alter ego “Jane,” to find her lab sister in Shhheeee-cawwwww-gwa-- Sorry, I mean Shhhheeeee-caaahhh-AAAHHHH--
So sorry, again. My mouth can’t quite form the word. It must be something about the inaccuracy of the statement.
Chiii-caaah-go? Chicago. Phew! There it is. She has gone to find her lab sister in the famous Sound Stage neighborhood of Chicago, where it turns out the Burger King Kids Club we met in Episode 1 has been hiding in plain sight. If by “plain sight” you mean “neon-lit four story suite of lofts with large glass panels and visible roof access.”
I know this whole series has been a bit murdery, what with the evil demogorgon and the girl who can twist necks with her mind and whatnot, but something about this one felt extra murdery. Was it the creepy murder masks? The Scooby Doo murder van? The pile of IDs that suddenly became El’s Arya Stark murder list? To help us understand, here’s a peek at a letter that Dottie, one of the BK Kids, sent to her friend after El’s visit. I found it in the Correspondence File. Maybe it will help clarify a few things.
Here’s a picture of the new friends I was telling you about. That’s me on the right, not Jodie Foster, in case you don’t recognize me so glamorous!
We are doing really good, hiding from the police in a big building right next to the police. Our view is amazing. Funshine (he’s the sad one looking down) said our view is extra amazing, because usually you need to be in the middle of Lake Michigan to see the diamond building from that angle, but lucky for us geography is not like a fixed thing.
This new girl named Jane came to live with us by finding our hideout really easy. Kali (she’s the one in charge) said we could dress up fancy when we go out to attract as much attention as possible. I voted for a Jem and the Misfits theme, but Kali said no, we’re doing Joan Jett and the Runaways meets murder clowns, and Jane gets to be Joan. So I was like, fine, but when we dress up like a United Colors of Benetton ad, I get to be the white one. We do a lot of violent revenge stuff but at least we go out more and drive right by the police. Maybe I’ll write a movie about all our adventures, running around Chicago sort of babysitting this girl and getting in trouble. I could call it Babysitting With Adventures or something.
Anyway, Jane decided to go back to Indiana, and I was like, I know I don’t know a lot of geography, but I’m pretty sure it’s not right next to a place as cool as Chicago. She’ll find out the hard way I guess.
P.S. the pizza is good but it’s like a whole different thing
Well, that's probably as much as we need to know about Dottie and friends. Who can guess what danger lurks in the heart of the Windy City...but it's definitely stranger.