THERES NO CRYING ON THE RUNWAY (PROJECT RUNWAY RECAP)
I do not know what happened in that last episode. Did any of you think Brandon should win with that Little Bo Peep runs the marathon get up? Should they have eliminated Margarita for her Wonder Woman dress instead of Kentaro’s Asian Funeral Spectacular? Maybe I’m worn out from the time change and have lost it, but I don’t know about how that episode shook down. I will tell you the one thing I know for sure: nothing brings on the waterworks like the Tim Gunn Save. That save gave me the ugly cry. It always does. I LOVE THAT GUY.
This week’s challenge is the last one before Fashion Week!
OMG. WE’RE FINALLY HERE. Think of how far we’ve come you guys. We’ve survived the twins, we’ve survived a bungee cord dress, we’ve survived pretending these plus sized models are plus sized, and Bahtani's killer confessional looks and half-assed runway designs. WHAT A SEASON, Y'ALL. I don’t know about you, but I feel exhausted and ready for full collections from these heauxs. I am tired AND I am ready.
Here’s what I can’t get off my mind as this episode starts. Kenya still doesn’t have a win. SHE SHOULD HAVE WON LAST WEEK BUT WHATEVER, NINA. I love her. Let’s light a candle and hope something happens for her soon. I don’t know if I think she’ll win the whole thing, but I’d like her to get SOMETHING and soon.
Heidi and Tim meet the designers and tell them that this week’s challenge will determine who goes to Fashion Week. Then Heidi says, “You know what comes before spring…” and it starts to snow on the runway. She tells Tim to stick out his tongue and taste the snow … the snow that is obviously shredded pieces of paper. IS SHE HIGH? Maybe … but also maybe she’s just starving … lack of calories can make you act like a fool. Trust me I KNOW.
For the final challenge the designers will have to create a high fashion winter look that any fashionista would be thrilled to wear on a cold winter day. Then Tim whisks everyone away to the coldest place in Manhattan to sketch … the Minus5 Ice Bar? WTF IS THAT, you say? It’s a bar made out of ice … it’s ridiculous. I live in Chicago, it’s cold enough on a regular damned day WHY WOULD ANYONE HANG OUT IN A ROOM MADE OF ICE. This is crazy-assed and all I can tell you is Manhattan is … special.
POOF … we’re off to Mood … where the drama starts almost right away. The shopping trip is fun and interesting, there are all sorts of fun choices being made … that is until Margarita spends a big chunk of her budget on fur for a coat and Tim starts screaming about how they’re a cruelty free show. Did you guys know the PR is cruelty free? I didn’t. Margarita has to put all of her fur back … I mean I get it but nobody told these nerds they can’t use fur? This season is full of surprises. AND JUST LIKE THAT … we have tears again.
When we come back from commercial Tim tells everyone that he feels bad that Margarita didn’t know about the fur rule. LOL HOW HOW HOW has this never come up before on the show? He wants to give Margarita an extra five minutes to shop for a replacement, and nobody objects … so she finds a faux fur alternative to her original purchase. Hopefully Margarita can figure out how to make it work.
Tim tours the room … and I’m so anxious I want to cry. I mean what’s one more tear at this point!? Basically “high fashion winter look” is translating into fly ass winter coat with simple clothes underneath.
Kentaro wants to find a way to use color so he’s thinking about making a yellow turtleneck top, but the off white (mother of pearl, egg shell or whatever) coat that he’s designed doesn’t work well together. It actually looks like an egg sorta? That’s what they’re saying anyway. Tim encourages him to stay with a neutral pallet and commit to it. I guess neutral isn’t black?
Kenya made a coat with a big bold brown print. I’m in love with the print, actually. Tim wants her to win the challenge (DON’T WE ALL IT’S TIME DANGIT). He tells her that at this point it’s all in the details so get it right. I hope she knocks this one out of the park.
Brandon is making Brandon. I don’t even know what to say about it. Obvi he’s talented and wonderful and whatever he makes is going to be great, but at this point I’m really bored with him to be honest. SURPRISE ME. PLEASE? NO MORE STAR WARS CLOTHES.
Ayana is doing some sort of 60s inspired coat. There’s pink at the top and black at the bottom. She wants to paint it to blend the sections. Tim is worried that it’s a lot, but encourages her.
Margarita is going through it. The fur business really got her down. She’s crying (in the most controlled and dignified way) in every confessional. She has a yellow dress and she wants to put fur on the sleeves. She doesn’t have a coat designed. Tim compares her look to a horror movie. Then she gets an idea to make some sort of dress out of her faux fur … and this peaks Tim’s interest. He clearly LOVES Margarita … the idea sounds cool actually, let’s hope it works.
There’s a model fitting and they all seem to go well, except for Margarita who doesn’t have anything completed. There’s a funny moment with her model’s confessional where she basically just stares at the mirror in silence when asked how her fitting went. Everyone is working and busy and focused … except for Margarita who’s running around stressed and … at the end of the night still doesn’t have anything completed. I’m hoping this is an editing choice to get my heart racing and everything is really fine … but I don’t’ know!?
The models come in for a pre-runway fitting and makeup … and everything feels more settled. MARGARITA HAS A LOOK (even though it’s not done), and we see some of the other looks. This is going to be an interesting and emotional runway show.
SOMEBODY HOLD ME
Margarita’s look is really cool. I love the fur dress. The dress was actually sorta shocking and surprising since the coat is totally wraped and covering the model. Nina loved it … so my girl is in, y’all. Say whatever you wanna say about it ... she struggled and she pulled it off ... and that's what it's all about!
Ayana’s look is … A WHOLE LOT. There’s a pink and black coat with a tear away bottom … that reveals a black and white jumpsuit underneath. SOMANYTHINGS. The judges like the coat, but do not love the jumpsuit. I think she was trying too hard and sorta went coo coo.
Kenya’s look is practical and cute. The judges like it, but think it should be more high fashion.
Brandon’s look is amazing. I can’t help it. I’m obsessed. GAH. It’s like Rey in Star Wars in Alaska or something? The judges love it too because of course they do.
Kentaro has a sort of off white version of Brandon’s look … it feels layered and cool and modern. The judges love this one too.
These two are cool and all and are obviously doing a killer job, but like ... IT'S A WHOLE LOT OF THE SAME SAME SAME. I think we've got a new set of twins in town, my dudes.
Kentaro wins the challenge, and after a ton of drama … including the slowest one by one decision reveal ever seen on the show … we discover they’re all going to fashion week. It’s super emotional and I’m crying and Kenya’s crying and Margarita’s crying and Tim is crying.
There are still only THREE SPOTS left for the Fashion Week show, so somebody is going to get killed before Bryant Park. Lord help us all.