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Hi.

Our thumbs are basically numb from texting back and forth 24/7 about everything we love (AND HATE) that's happening on our televisions, iPads, and eye glasses (hi, we think we're funny) and we thought WHY NOT SHARE THIS JOY WITH THE WORLD?!  

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS TIM GUNN (PROJECT RUNWAY RECAP)

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS TIM GUNN (PROJECT RUNWAY RECAP)

Lord. I can't ever seem to watch TV on time like a normal person, not even Project Runway ... which is totally my favorite show. The first thing I noticed last night when I finally sat down in front of my TV is ... THE SHOW IS TWO HOURS LONG ... what on Earth. The only thing that should be two hours long is a Barbra Streisand concert. SORRY 'BOUT IT. TWO HOURS LONG. I hope this part of the finale comes with two free round trip tickets to Miami.

TWO HOURS!

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The show begins ... seemingly moments after that winter coat mess we had in the last episode. We see Tim all excited again as he talks about FIVE designers showing at New York Fashion Week. Then, he tells us there will be more information coming soon. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!? Everyone is nervous waiting for their directions. Will all of them really be going to Fashion Week? Will there be one last challenge before Bryant Park? Will Zac put his suit jacket on his shoulders again like a 900 year old person?

ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN IN TWO HOURS!

Tim and Heidi arrive to explain how Fashion Week will shake down. Each designer will get $10,000 to create a collection, but not all of the designers will actually get to compete. There are only three guaranteed spots. The designers will present a two look preview for the judges when they return in a few weeks. Then the judges will decide who gets to present their entire collection at Fashion week. I honestly don't ever remember a group of designers I've liked this much. There is something about each of them and their work I love. I don't want any of them to go. I know somebody has to win, so everyone else will have to lose but GAH.

LORD JESUS, PASS THE XANAX.

We flash forward to Tim’s home visits. This poor man. They're gonna send Tim all over the damned country to talk to these fools. I hope he gets his Christmas bonus, this sounds like torture!

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SALT LAKE CITY, UT

Ayana lives in Salt Lake? Just know I’m making BIG EYES at you, that's the weirdest thing I'ever heard. Tim has a giant band-aid on his forehead. He apparently fell down the night before he left for the home visits and it required stitches. I think we all know Heidi had a fit and knifed him, but OKAY ... you fell down. Sure, Tim. SURE. Ayana went to Upstate New York to find inspiration for her collection. The color palette is very earthy and muted. She has a couple looks done, but there honestly wasn’t much to see. She wants her collection to me modest, and she’s excited to have the opportunity to share a modest collection with the HUGE audience Project Runway and New York Fashion Week provides.

ATLANTA, GA

Kenya isn’t wearing her usual leopard print scarf that she’s been wearing all season and I’m scared. IS SHE OK. Her collection is inspired by ocean, and sand, and sun … she calls it "summertime dream." She’s got her sketches, and some fabric, but feels a little lost and can’t work the full collection out at the moment. Tim tells her he understands one of the looks she has completed, but the color palette overall is a snooze fest. I must say it is very ... quiet. At this early moment it looks like it's all going to be made in a sort of salmon color? Fine, I guess, but it's muted and not as exciting as we might expect from Kenya. Tim gives her a pep-talk and some advice to help turn the volume up on the whole collection.

LOS ANGELES

Kentaro’s design space could be Zac Posen’s house. It’s incredible. HOW IS THIS HAPPENING. It seriously looks like the set of a soap opera or maybe a house on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. IT'S AMAZING. His collection is inspired by classical music. Yeah. WHAT? What does that mean? I'm not totally sure, and we don't get a very detailed look at his clothes, but we can see he has several looks completed. We can tell it's bright, but not much else. Tim tells him it looks like he has several pieces from different collections gathered together, and Kentaro explains he doesn't want the collection to be too cohesive. GIRL. HUH? I love Kentaro's wild and reckless dive into his art, but sometimes I have no clue what the hell he's talking about. Which is a great since the next thing that happens ... shows you EXACTLY what I mean...

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Kentaro tells Tim he has composed a song that embodies what the collection is about. We cut to Tim standing by a piano watching Kentaro play. The music is nice I guess? When Kentaro is finished he tells Tim he found a dead cat on the street, and after he buried the cat he put his ear to the ground and this is the kind of sound he heard. Like … that’s how he described the song … which means that’s how he’s thinking of his collection? WHAT IS HAPPENING? Y'all know I love this little dude but SOMEBODY CALL A DOCTOR THIS BOY HAS LOST IT.

SAN JUAN, PR

OMG. I wanna go to Puerto Rico. I know I KNOW. The hurricane and whatnot, but the minute everything is good I am there. It looks bright and beautiful and gorgeous. Of course our girl Margarita is crying almost immediately. We learn from Marg's father she auditioned for Project Runway several times. Her collection is inspired in part by a colorful couch she had growing up, and then also by the color and life of Puerto Rico. It’s gorgeous, and exciting, and Tim is super into it, except for a crocheted embellishment she’s putting on a couple of the looks. Tim tells her to take her beach girl and put her in New York City.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA

We hang with Brandon and his girlfriend for a while. When we finally get to his workroom he has a couple looks completed. There’s a ton of a flamingo print fabric. That sounds wild and over the top, but it’s actually abstract and beautiful. He’s done some magic and faded some of the print so there are all sorts of different versions of the original print. It's super creative and my mind is blown. How long until this dude picks up his crown? We get a little peak at his collection and there are a few VERY BRANDON pieces. He's clearly going to win. I don’t even really know what to say and neither does Tim, so he tells him to carry on.

BACK IN NEW YORK!

Tim enters the workroom and reminds everyone that JC Penney exists, and that each designer will have to present two looks and the judges will decide who will move on to Fashion Week. He takes a tour of the room and we see each of the collections a little more than we got to at each of the home visits.

All of the collections look great … there’s not anything super weird or bad that I can point to and say THAT PERSON WONT GO. I really don’t know what’s going to happen. There are no weak links. We're just over half way through the two hour episode and I feel like I've made and entire collection my own damned self.

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There is so much stress and panic as we move toward the runway show! Heidi shows up on a giant TV instead of showing up in person … she had to be in LA … it’s robotic and weird but also perfect because sometimes I think she might be an actual robot.

The looks hit the runway…

Brandon’s looks are very Brandon. The print is so shocking, it’s wild that it appears all over the place and isn't too obnoxious. We're looking at flamingos you guys. WHAT? Everything is way less Star Wars this time around. It’s good stuff. Though, I will say one of his looks is PERFECT and the other is a hot mess ... it's got a lot going on ... but overall LIKE LIKE LIKE.

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Ayana’s  pieces are modest, but not overwhelmingly so … it’s interesting and cool. I don't have much to say about her looks other than I wish the color palette involved ACTUAL COLOR.

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Then Kentaro’s clothes. The models have super severe eyebrows, and I know that’s a thing right now but this is like 1920’s Dracula severe. It’s weird. One of the looks is interesting and Fashion Week ready and the other looks like something I would make out of toilet paper and a koosh ball. While we're at it ... WHAT IS THIS HAIR SITUATION? He makes good clothes but his styling choices are ... TERRIFYING.

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Margarita’s looks are loud and fun. It’s exciting. The collection definitely leans more Miami than New York, but who doesn’t love Miami? I want a pair of those pants for myself.

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Kenya’s looks are alright. Parts of them are good, but there’s really no real wow factor. It makes me sad because I LOVE KENYA.

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I was thinking for a while that everyone would show at Fashion Week, but the judges decide to eliminate Kenya. It’s so sad even Tim is crying, and he tells her if he had another save he would give it to her. Great. I'm crying. I'm not sure if it's because I love Kenya or I just sat through two ours of TV and my ass is asleep.

SORRY NOT SORRY (RHOC SEASON FINALE RECAP)

SORRY NOT SORRY (RHOC SEASON FINALE RECAP)

I'M SORRY, WHAT

I'M SORRY, WHAT