SHOULD YOU BUY THIS SEXY STRANGER THINGS COSTUME?
This just in: nosebleeds are hella sexy! Confused? So am I!
Unless you’ve been living in the Upside Down, then you have clearly heard of the recent outrage over the “sexy” costume version of Eleven from Stranger Things. To sum up the outrage, the internet deems it inappropiate that the character of Eleven, who is 12 according my very quick google search, is being sexualized. Other outrage stems from fans of the show essentially saying, “That’s not really Eleven! If you’re going to dress up as her, at least be faithful to the character!”
Is this really surprising, though? Have we all forgot what Mean Girls taught us about Halloween costumes? To quote Cady, "In the real world, Halloween is when kids dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In Girl World, Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it."
Now, drumroll, for the costume in question:
I don’t know about you, but so far I’m not seeing what is apparently sexy about this costume. Is it that the model is wearing makeup and high heels? In all honesty, this costume seems kind of comfortable. I’d probably throw on some leggings underneath, but that’s because I get cold easily.
Pearl clutching aside, there are 5 REAL reasons you should be outraged at this costume.
5. The Shoes
They just aren’t ideal. Got to take the kids Trick-or-Treating? Not in those shoes! Girl, throw some sneakers on. Going to go get wasted in Wicker Park, crawling from bar to bar this Halloween? NOT IN THOSE SHOES. You know you’re going to complain about walking a block away to another bar and try to convince your friends to order an Uber.
4. The Name
Any idea what the name of this costume is? Upside Down Honey. Upside Down Honey? Please, we all know there is already one Upside Down Honey and her name is Barb. Say her name! Look, she even looks like she’s covered in honey!
While we’re on the topic, though. Where is Barb’s sexy costume? Is there ever going to be any justice for Barb? Then again, maybe all a sexy Barb costume would entail is removing her glasses. After all, that seems to be the way to make an “unattractive” girl suddenly “attractive” in most movies and TV shows. To demonstrate this point I had my friend, Maggie Wagner, put on her Barb costume and take one photo with glasses and one without glasses.
Damn Barb, was clearly the REAL Upside Down Honey.
3. The Backside
Look at that! This so-called sexy costume covers everything from behind! -record scratch- unless you have a big booty. As someone that has a big booty here, this dress CAN suddenly become rather cheeky and unintentionally sexy.
2. The Wig
This wig is atrocious. If the boys from Stranger Things were able to make a cheap wig look flawless on Eleven, then I expect more from this costume maker’s advertising.
Currently, this wig looks like it belongs on the set of CW’s The Flash.
(is that a mop on your head, boy?)
1. The Price
This costume costs a whopping $39.99 - $49.99! Whatever you do, do not, I repeat, do not pay $50 for a costume that you can sexi-fy yourself! Heard of Goodwill? Girl, get yourself an Amazon account. While I did not dress up as a sexy version of Eleven, I was certainly thrifty in my version of her costume earlier this year at C2E2!
Moral of the outrage: Save your money, kids! Spend it on Eggos instead!